Grandma's 5 Questions for 8/22/20

[Deleted User 289]

1. If Jesus was (or is) alive today, and he owned a single automobile that he drove, what make/model of automobile would it be?

2. Will something happen to the Earth and/or on the Earth in the next 17,649 years that will wipe out EVERY and ALL human beings on the planet?

3. TWO PARTER
You are asked to go to lunch by a co-worker who is of the opposite sex. He/she is a "superior" to you.
You are not at all close to this person - both in terms of your job and "friendship" outside of work.
You are at the restaurant and halfway through lunch the co-worker starts talking about how a different co-worker that you consider to be a very good friend - told him/her about their sexual "conquests" - and the co-worker you are having lunch with goes in to explicit details.
It becomes uncomfortable for you and you are unsure if you are being "tested".
a) Do you tell the co-worker you are dining with that you are uncomfortable?
b) Without knowing how the person will react and taking most things in to consideration, do you tell the co-worker that you are close with that your other co-worker was discussing them and their "sexual conquests"?

4. Farts and burps. I fart more than I burp but I burp more than the average person does.
Think about how loud you can fart and how loud you can burp. Which is louder - your loudest fart or your loudest burp?

5. For dinner tonight you can have TWO of the following "side dishes". Which TWO (of the 20) do you choose?
a) French Fries
b) Onion Rings
c) White Rice
d) Tater Tots
e) Creamed Spinach
f) Asparagus
g) Baked Potato
h) Brown Rice
i) Mac and Cheese
j) Peas
k) Roasted Carrots
l) Broccoli
m) Brussel Sprouts
n) Fried Zucchini
o) Garlic Bread
p) Greek Salad
q) Hush Puppies
r) Grilled Mushrooms
s) Mashed Potatoes
t) Hard Boiled Egg/s

[Deleted User 310]

1. Nissan Versa Hatchback
2. Yes
3. I have no idea
4. Burp
5. Tater tots and onion rings

[ousdahl]

1. Some pussy hybrid, so that his most ardent followers can “roll coal” on his hippy ass in their diesel trucks.
2. Prob...and it’ll prob be human caused. (Maybe some follower of Jesus will take his message of peace and decide to bomb everyone about it?)
3. Well if you aren’t gonna break up with her the first bajillion times we told you to, this time ask if she’ll reach under the table and give you a handjob
4. Burp
5. Is mac and cheese two sides or just one?

[Deleted User 289]

1. Escalade.
2. Yes
3. a) Yes / b) No
4. Equal
5. Normally I would go with fries and o-rings.
As far as tonight - I'll change it up a bit. I LOVE me some GOOD Hush Puppies - I HATE me some BAD Hush Puppies. If they are the GOOD Hush Puppies - I'll opt for them and Garlic Bread.

[TDub]

1. A jaguar
2. Yes
3. A. If they told them about then whatever o dont care
B. Yes. Thats what friends do.
4. Burp
5. Mashed taters
Garlic Bread

[jhawks99]

1) The PopeMobile
2) Probably
3) How do you get yourself into these things?
4) Burp
5) Baked potato and creamed spinach

[ousdahl]

Pope Mobile is a good one.

I also thought about saying that low rider from Cheech and Chong with the license plate that says “muff divr.”

But then again maybe that’s the ride driven by Jesús.

[Deleted User 289]

1. Some pussy hybrid, so that his most ardent followers can “roll coal” on his hippy ass in their diesel trucks.
2. Prob...and it’ll prob be human caused. (Maybe some follower of Jesus will take his message of peace and decide to bomb everyone about it?)
3. Well if you aren’t gonna break up with her the first bajillion times we told you to, this time ask if she’ll reach under the table and give you a handjob
4. Burp
5. Is mac and cheese two sides or just one?

Mac and Cheese is just one side.

[ousdahl]

Which one?

[Deleted User 289]

Which one?

Not sure I understand your question so I will answer - Yes. No. Both. Neither.

[ousdahl]

Thanks for clarifying!

[TDub]

It said side. Not ingredient. Many ingredients go into each of those sides. This isnt complicated

[ousdahl]

In that case, I’ll have the mac and cheese and fries and rings.

[TDub]

You're being purposely stupid.

[ousdahl]

All I’m saying is, I want this to count as one of my sides:

[TDub]

Have you ever seen mac without cheese? Its one fucking item. Youre being stupid intentionally. So im done.

[jhawks99]

You know he's just yanking your chain.

Actually, he was yanking gutter's chain and you took offense. I mean, I get it, oussie was being stupid. But it's kind of what this bored is.

[TDub]

Yea i know. Sometimes i cant stop myself