Grandma's 5 Questions for 9/9/20 + Bonus Thought

[Deleted User 289]

1. How old is your oldest blood (if you were adopted - still consider them "blood") relative?

2. The NFL season starts tomorrow. At some point this season you must be on the field and play one "down" for your favorite NFL team. You can choose your number, position, and what team you are playing for. What number, position, and team you are playing for do you choose?

3. I have never understood why people post photos of themselves on dating sites in which they look much better in their photos than they do in person. Often they use old photos in which they are younger, thinner, etc.
If you were to go out on a date with someone who posted a photo of themself in which they looked "hot" and then you meet them in person and they are not nearly as attractive in person as they are in their photo - and after talking with them you can tell they are not a "match" for you - on a scale of 0-100 (0 being the nicest thing you have ever said and 100 being the meanest thing you can possibly say) how mean would it be if you said these exact words to him/her - "You really don't look like your profile pic and to be honest I am disappointed you chose to falsely advertise yourself and I feel you should probably be ashamed right now".

4. What was something you ate yesterday that was healthy and what was something you ate that was unhealthy?

5. You have a friend, family member, co-worker, or neighbor who is taking a 4 day trip. They have multiple pets and ask you to take care of ONE of their pets. You oblige and you have a choice of which pet you will take care of. Which of the following do you choose?

a)


b)


c)


d)


e)


f)


g)



Bonus Thought/Question.
In Germany do they call today's date NO NO Day?

[ousdahl]

1. shoot I dunno...some great uncle or aunt whom I otherwise don't see or hear from
2. CHIEFSCHIEFSCHIEFS. I'd pick 12 for most jerseys. And just to get the fullest experience of an NFL down, I'm playing center lol
3. it depends on how many times it's happened to me. First time would be awkward, but after a while, I could see myself getting good at calling them out
4. a nice reasonable salad, right before I smashed a giant ass plate of rotini noodles covered in homemade sausage marinara and ungodly amounts of parmesan cheese.
5. the turtle might legit be the least maintenance of all, right? whichever one is the least work over the course of 4 days

bonus: ask jhawks99

[Deleted User 310]

1. Not sure. Great grandma lived to be around 100ish.

2. #1. Kicker. Chiefs. Attempting a PAT.

3. I have said some mean things, so i would rank that around 75.

4. Salad. Pizza.

5. Dog because i could keep it alive. Turtle would be easy but i might fuck that up somehow. Monkey would be awesome, but it might destroy my house.

[shindig]

1. Probably my Aunt Margie, I'm guessing she's 85
2. Chiefs. Jersey number 34, probably go with running back
3. 70, kind of mean, some pics could just be more flattering than others
4. Garden salad with broccoli, followed up with some pringles
5. c. I love dogs, second would be the lop ear bunny

[Deleted User 289]

1. 87
2. Bears 7 QB
3. 69 I have to assume she is not in a relationship if she is going on a date with me. I would be doing her a favor by providing "tough love".
4. Cantaloupe / Potato Chips
5. I would be happy with any of them other than the snake. I would say G but I'm not sure how he/she would behave and if it went ape shit, I don't know how I would handle it. I would love C but C would be not easy to take care of living in an apartment and I am afraid I would become too attached to it. F might fuck up my apartment and I am a bit leery of black cats. I'm probably going with B although it wouldn't be my first choice if it was going to be my own pet.

[jfish26]

1 - I don't have any grandparents or their siblings alive, I don't think. So I guess it's my dad (turning 80 next year).

2 - I must play? Christ. Do I get to choose the play? If so, I choose whatever position is behind the quarterback on a kneel down. If I don't get to choose, I'll be a kicker (and will simply drop my ass to the ground and surrender as soon as the ball is snapped). Or maybe long snapper - you're not allowed to hit the long snapper, right? I will be #26, obviously.

3 - That would be 90+ for me. The first part is fine to say.

4 - I had green beans yesterday, and also tots.

5 - The cat. Easy peasy.

[jhawks99]

1) My mom is 90.
2) 3. Place kicker
3) That's unnecessary and not very nice.
4) Sliced tomatoes. Hot dog
5) F

99 says, "I dunno"

[pdub]

1. Great aunt in mid 90s
2. Chiefs, number 8, I'm pretty sure I could kick an extra point so probably that
3. 72 - some people post flattering pics of themselves in hope to get the 1st meetup - I went on several dates in NY where that was the case - no reason to bring it up, you don't like her, just don't call/contact her again
4. Roasted broccoli, turkey sandwich with pepperjack, mayo, mustard, relish
5. f, the cat, he kinda looks like my cat

Lustig.

[NewtonHawk11]

1. I'd say 87 or so...
2. Chiefs #11 Punter. I punted in high school and college. So I could probably kick it 35 yards downfield and hope the guys cover or kick it out of bounds.
3. 65
4. Some fruit for lunch is healthiest. Cinnamon rolls for breakfast yesterday.
5. Whichever is least maintenance. So I'd think it would be the turtle.

[Sparko]

I have thought about question 2 over the years—kind of like The Plimpton scenario.
1. Mom. 85
2. 19. Special teams for onside kick. The most consequential potential, least exposure to humiliation.
3. Have a friend who did that. She is single.
4. Rib rye steak. Salad. Mixed together too.
5. Cat. Can even forget and not feel bad.

[NewtonHawk11]

2. 19. Special teams for onside kick. The most consequential potential, least exposure to humiliation.

Like, would you be the deep return person in a clear onside kick scenario..? Because if you were on one of the front lines and the ball is kicked at you, it's a freaking train wreck. Guys running full speed would not be enjoyable.

[Sparko]

2. 19. Special teams for onside kick. The most consequential potential, least exposure to humiliation.

Like, would you be the deep return person in a clear onside kick scenario..? Because if you were on one of the front lines and the ball is kicked at you, it's a freaking train wreck. Guys running full speed would not be enjoyable.

I would catch the ball on the bounce and would score easily. Unless they kick to the other side inexplicably.

[zsn]

1. My aunt, late 80’s.....must be, since my dad is nearly 82 and there’s one uncle and one aunt between them. If the question is which blood relative lived the longest that I know of, it was my grandma who passed away at 91

2. Steelers, 81, WR (what I want to do); what I can do would be the punter on a fake punt, where they snap to the RB - so essentially do nothing!

3. 75

4. Quinoa burger; the potato salad that came with it

5. c