Totally random thread

[Deleted User 289]

My question is, were birds ever real?
Or have they killed all the birds and made them into machines?
Or are just some birds not real?

If it's just some birds aren't real, I could actually get down with that, like Big Bird isn't really a bird.

Big bird is 100% real. As are Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I have seen and touched all 3 in person.
Are they all spying on me too? Do I need to snap their necks to stop them?

[Deleted User 289]

Riddle me this Batman.....
I received a package today. Came via USPS. Had no idea what is was. Opened it. Dick Butkus and Junior Seau action figures and 2 pens. One pen clearly chewed on due to teeth marks. Nothing else in the box.
I don't do drugs and I don't drink so I know it's not something I ordered when I was wasted.
Shipping label had a familiar name on it - but I can't recall if it's someone I bought something from on Ebay in the past. If so, maybe they made a mistake and sent me something meant to go to someone else?
Yes, I contacted Ebay.

[ousdahl]

Yup, heater crapped out.

How dangerous would it be to turn on the crock pot full of water just for the radiant warmth?

[Deleted User 289]

Riddle me this Batman.....
I received a package today. Came via USPS. Had no idea what is was. Opened it. Dick Butkus and Junior Seau action figures and 2 pens. One pen clearly chewed on due to teeth marks. Nothing else in the box.
I don't do drugs and I don't drink so I know it's not something I ordered when I was wasted.
Shipping label had a familiar name on it - but I can't recall if it's someone I bought something from on Ebay in the past. If so, maybe they made a mistake and sent me something meant to go to someone else?
Yes, I contacted Ebay.

Ok, now shit is getting REALLY weird. I received what I thought was a legit email from Ebay regarding "feedback" for my interaction with their rep. I started to answer questions and then got to this one...

We'd also like to hear about Mohammad Ali, the agent you just worked with.
How did Mohammad Ali do?

I spoke with a woman and her name was NOT Mohammad Ali.

[Deleted User 289]

Yup, heater crapped out.

How dangerous would it be to turn on the crock pot full of water just for the radiant warmth?

That sucks!

To answer your question, probably not as dangerous as turning on your oven and leaving the oven door open.

[TDub]

Get a wood stove.

[ousdahl]

Some day, bro.

For now, I’m just impressed the landlord is actually addressing it, rather than his usual “I don’t wanna deal with it, can you guys figure it out? Just take any costs out of rent next month”

[Deleted User 89]

just set the beav on fire

[ousdahl]

Ha. I was gonna make a joke about him staying warm with that hydrophobic fur coat.

But for real, we follow up with landlord. He says he called some heating guy yesterday but the guy “must not have gotten the message.” He then asks if we could just call somebody about it, and suggests getting some space heaters.

[CrimsonNBlue]

Ha. I was gonna make a joke about him staying warm with that hydrophobic fur coat.

But for real, we follow up with landlord. He says he called some heating guy yesterday but the guy “must not have gotten the message.” He then asks if we could just call somebody about it, and suggests getting some space heaters.

I'm definitely not familiar with landlord/tenant stuff in Colorado (or really anywhere), but when you're talking about heating and not A/C or a faucet on the fritz, etc., you could be getting into habitability laws that your landlord is well aware of.

[ousdahl]

Yeah, I figured.

I wonder if he even is aware though. Dude’s kind of an airhead.

And all landlord/tenant stuff aside, this is the basement apartment of the dude’s own vacation home. You’d think he’d be a little more concerned.

Btw it was -5 degrees this morning

[Deleted User 289]

Grandma in a nutshell volume 1,983,546......

Went to the grocery store.
Came back with 4 bags. I really shouldn't be carrying anything heavy due to my recent surgery/procedure - but I would guesstimate the 4 combined bags to have been less than 20-25 pounds. Not a big deal.
Anyways, I get to my building which is a multi-purpose building that includes apartments, doctor's offices, retail businesses, a health club, etc.
We have both revolving doors and "regular doors". A woman comes out of a regular door and can clearly see me holding the bags. Instead of holding the door for me she lets it slam/close shut.
As I pull the door handle and open the door I say out loud - "What a fucking dildo".
Not typical of me to verbally express myself out loud - to myself - but not unheard of either.
As I am saying it a man with two children walk out of the day care center - which is very close to the door I walked in. My guess is the kids are about 2 and 4 years old or maybe 3 and 5 years old.
Well, you guessed it. They heard me. One of the kids says out loud - "fucking dildo" and the other kid laughs. The father gives me a death stare and I apologize profusely. He didn't accept my apology.
Me being me, I say out loud AGAIN - to myself - "Gee, go figure, another fucking dildo".
As I walked away I heard the kid say "fucking dildo" again and while I gave a real laugh, I made a point to laugh as loud as I could.

No, I am not proud of myself - at all - but I guess I felt the need to be honest and repent on here.
I sincerely feel bad about it and it's kind of bothering me. I swear I typically try to be a kind and respectful person to everyone - unless they say or do something to lose my respect.

[TDub]

Yeah, I figured.

I wonder if he even is aware though. Dude’s kind of an airhead.

And all landlord/tenant stuff aside, this is the basement apartment of the dude’s own vacation home. You’d think he’d be a little more concerned.

Btw it was -5 degrees this morning

Leave the faucets on, steady dripping. Will protect your pipes

[ousdahl]

Thanks man, done.

But let’s keep this thread on topic.


Just went to get some coffee, and my cup I keep on my desk totally had a mouse turd in it this morning. Eewwwww!

[jhawks99]

Has anyone in history ever bought an extended car warranty from a robocall?

[ousdahl]

Hold that thought, phone’s ringing...

[PhDhawk]

Has anyone in history ever bought an extended car warranty from a robocall?

I only buy them from junk mail where the misspelled my name and have the wrong vehicle.

[Deleted User 289]

Grandma in a nutshell volume 1,983,547......

Grandma cooking bacon.
Knock on my door.
Grandma - "Hello"
Male neighbor - "You really need to do something about your cooking odor, it's all over the 50th floor".
Grandma - "I'm very sorry! I lit a candle, I put the fan on over the stove, and I opened a window. I'm not sure what else I can do".
Neighbor - "Well, you have to do something".
Grandma - "Ok, once again I am sorry. Just out of curiosity, the two girls down the hall who cook fish 2 or 3 times a week, do you knock on their door too"?
Neighbor - Blank stare
Grandma - "Yes or no"?
Neighbor - "Their fish doesn't smell as bad".
Grandma - "I beg to differ".
Neighbor - Blank stare
Grandma - "Alright, not sure what else I can do or say other than I am sorry. Would it help if I sprayed air freshener in the hallway"?
Neighbor - Blank stare
Grandma - "You'll excuse me, I'm going to eat my bacon. Would you like some"?
Neighbor - Blank stare.
Grandma - "I hope your day gets better". Closes door.

Not sure either of us were assholes in this situation but bigger asshole - me or him?

[ousdahl]

Is this your homework, Larry?

[pdub]

If you live in an apartment you have to deal with things like cooking smells. And noise. There’s a limit - just like a neighborhood with, say, loud music past 11 pm - but complaining about the smell of bacon isn’t in that limit.

Either accept communal living or move.