Kids

[sdoyel]

[HouseDivided]

I think Rex Chapman did a few too many Oxys and Lortabs back in the day. Dude’s brain is fried.

[ousdahl]

if I may ask, how much work is a kid?

I don't doubt it's tremendous, buuut...

so my childhood best friend and his whole fam are in town right now for Christmas. For now, let's save the whole "why in the actual fuck are you congregating multiple families from 5 different states in the same airbnb rental during a pandemic" for the pandemic thread.

They know I'm leery of their travel habits. But my bff, who just had a kid with his wife, says, "hey man could you and I just get out and ski for a couple hours? I suppose a naturally distanced outdoor rendezvous with just the one guy can be a calculated risk. I really would like to see him, after all.

then he calls back. Sorry dude, my wife says I have to stay here in the rental home and help with the 4 month old.

...ooook?

Again, I'm not doubting it's a lot of work. But when you already have his boring ass wife who spends her whole vacation sitting around watching cooking show reruns, AND the grandma already smothering the little fucker with attention and even volunteering to watch the grandbaby, do they really need a third adult for support? the kid mostly just sleeps either way!

(I suppose I'm afraid the issue in this instance isn't the actual burden of helping with a child, so much as why the eff did you marry such a negative wet blanket control freak of a wife. What kind of spouse denies a catch-up with a childhood best friend? She even goes so far as to try and frame me as some kind of bad influence for asking, hey can the homie and I hang for a couple hours? maybe that's for another thread yet.)

but whatever. As much of a morale boost as it would have been to go ski with my childhood bestie, I'm also grateful to not be party to a potential superspreader event.

[Cascadia]

I think it's just millennials having kids that are the problem. I have several friends with kids ranging from 0-2 and they all act just like your describing. Except for one, she's from Argentina and has a completely different outlook on parenting. I used to think I didn't like kids, but I've learned recently that it's the parents I don't like.

[ousdahl]

ha, maybe.

contrast that with another buddy who had a kid and asked his wife, "hey babe can I go up camping and fishing in Wyoming with the guys? We're not exactly sure for how long, but we'll try to be back by next Friday."

and the wife says, sure hun, go ahead, I'll be with the kid at home just watching cooking show reruns either way, so it's a good chance for you and the guys to enjoy yourselves."

[Leawood]

ha, maybe.

contrast that with another buddy who had a kid and asked his wife, "hey babe can I go up camping and fishing in Wyoming with the guys? We're not exactly sure for how long, but we'll try to be back by next Friday."

and the wife says, sure hun, go ahead, I'll be with the kid at home just watching cooking show reruns either way, so it's a good chance for you and the guys to enjoy yourselves."

The good natured wife is setting a trap.

[pdub]

pdub may or may not be starting a broccoli farm.

He promises not to talk about the broccoli farm in every convo. Or call the broccoli farm a kiddo or guppie in said convos.
He promises not to take the broccoli farm to a nice restaurant.

Because that's what good broccoli farmers should do.

[ousdahl]

I dunno bro, this is your chance to set up an insta page dedicated to showing the entire world just how cute your broccoli farm is. Coin a clever hashtag and everything.

[pdub]

There's a ton of broccoli farms out there, yours is only special to you, this broccoli farmer gets that.

[jfish26]

If this is pdub saying he's having a kid, my hearty congratulations and/or condolences, as applicable.

[DrPepper]

I posit that if the BFF had first told the wet blanket he would watch baby the entire next day so that she and MIL could go shop and see the Christmas lights, he would have been able to ski an afternoon with the bad influence.

[ousdahl]

yeah, cuz a couple hours for an entire day is a good trade.

but that's not what this is about.

The only way she'll let him ski is if he lets her have her cake and eat it too.

[ousdahl]

never mind, he just texted back! the little broccoli just went down for a nap, and she's binging some British baking show, we got a window to ski, BRB!

[jhawks99]

She doesn't want him having fun with his brosephs. She's afraid he'll like it and ditch her. Or she just doesn't like you .

[ousdahl]

Yeah, she def doesn’t like me.

We’ll get along as a whole, and there’s been stretches when I’m vibing with her even more than the BFF.

But as a whole, she treats me like a bad influence - for things like, asking if me and my bestie can go play for a couple hours.

She’s not really an egotistical person, but she does have a certain high maintenance self-centered expectation about shit. Like, I think all she wants out life is passive companionship while she watches reruns and passes judgement on everything else.

And anyone who might cause a deviation from that gets labeled as the rotten one. It’s the rest of the world that’s miserable, not her.

In secretly looking forward to being a badass de facto uncle to the kid, though - if she lets me. She’s so convinced I’ll be a bad influence, surprise surprise, but I mostly just wanna bring some much needed positive energy for the kid..

Hey junior, guess what?? There’s a lot more to life than watching tv and being pissy! So let’s go like, play in a creek and just be amazed with the world for a little while. Yes, you’re totally allowed to get muddy, I’ll take the blame when mom gets mad.

[TDub]

I think its hard to pass judgement on the actions/restrictions on those with young children (particularly more than 1) until you have those experiences. I know my thought process has changed about similar situations. I dont know the details of your friends situation im just sayin..

[TDub]

Also, baby blues/post partum depression is real and can be debilitating and have lasting effects. If she wasnt like that before it might explain some of the change.

[NewtonHawk11]

Also, baby blues/post partum depression is real and can be debilitating and have lasting effects. If she wasnt like that before it might explain some of the change.

A real underreported and underrated thing that happens. My wife struggled big time after birth of our kids. Especially our 3rd one. Many moments where she questioned her worth, questioned her purpose, questioned if she should be here. All while having 3 healthy kids, a good job, a good support system. Like it happens to most mothers now. Really scary, actually.

Thankfully, she is good now as our 3rd is out of the "terrible 2 phase" and she is the happiest she's been in a while.

[TDub]

Also, baby blues/post partum depression is real and can be debilitating and have lasting effects. If she wasnt like that before it might explain some of the change.

A real underreported and underrated thing that happens. My wife struggled big time after birth of our kids. Especially our 3rd one. Many moments where she questioned her worth, questioned her purpose, questioned if she should be here. All while having 3 healthy kids, a good job, a good support system. Like it happens to most mothers now. Really scary, actually.

Thankfully, she is good now as our 3rd is out of the "terrible 2 phase" and she is the happiest she's been in a while.

Its a real poorly understood thing for most people. I had no idea about it or anything surrounding it, its especially poorly understood and poorly communicated to fathers/men.

[ousdahl]

That may be it.

But she’s always been this way. Boring, bitter, and expects everyone (well, at least her hapless hubby) to stay down at that level with her.

Before the baby, it was the same shit with the dog. Before the dog, it was the same shit with arbitrary chores or whatever. She just gets off to bossing him around over the pettiest shit.

“No honey, you can NOT go fishing with ousdahl! You have to stay home and clean the kitchen! Yes, you do have to plan your whole weekend around this. No, I can’t do it, cuz after this commercial break they’re judging the contestant’s desserts...”

Either way, she needs therapy. Maybe even more than me!