Gutter's 5 Post Turkey Day Questions of the Day 11/23/18

[Deleted User 183]

1) Rate your ENTIRE Thanksgiving Day on a whole from 0-100 (0 being the worst day of your life and 100 being the best day of your life).

2) How many of the following 10 things did I say at my Thanksgiving dinner last night? 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, or all 10?
a) "I give thanks that I have to sit and eat a shitty meal with you fucks only once a year".
b) "Is that cranberry sauce on your pants or is it your time of the month"?
c) "Bend over, I'll stuff it".
d) "Why is it ok to call it Black Friday and not African American Friday"?
e) "What the fuck does he care if you go to his funeral"?
f) "Bears SUPER BOWL"
g) "I hate this fucking country".
h) "Your Dentist's Son? Fuck him".
i) "You have got to be fucking kidding me - unfortunately I know you're not. It truly sucks to be me".
j) "I hope I never meet your husband".

3) 2 parter.
I have a female friend who is single but waaaay out of my league - and some of my friends & co-workers (female and male) pretty much go off on me for not "asking her out". I am 92.334% sure she would go out with me in a "platonic" manner and 99.925% sure she would NOT have any interest in me other than in a "platonic" manner.
I am extremely attracted to her - as are both men and women. She is truly a beautiful woman and a sweet person too.
a) Do I even bother to ask her out knowing that there is a very good chance she will go out to dinner with me but there is no future other than our being "just friends" - but like I said, I am extremely attracted to her and being that I am single, I would question if I wasting my time and/or possibly torturing myself -although, it would be a nice ego boost being seen with her and no doubt I would enjoy her company.
Yes or no?
b) If we do go out, do I roofie her? That was a not funny joke - sorry. If she gets drunk (she likes to drink - a lot) and she seems "loose" - do I flat out tell her I am extremely attracted to her and would like to bang (I wouldn't use that word) bang her.
Yes or no?

4) Name 2 (TWO) NON-"Traditional" things you ate yesterday.

5) Did you or anyone at your table say a prayer and/or "grace" (NOT a speech/toast but an actual prayer/grace) before you ate your Thanksgiving meal?

[Deleted User 183]

My answers.....

1) 74
2) Not going to answer until others answer first. * Edited response = 5 (E/F/H/I/J)
3) See my response to #2. * Edited response A) Yes B) Yes and then if she gives me a funny look without a definitive no -tell her I'll give her $1000, she can keep her eyes closed and pretend I'm someone else, it will be quick and probably mostly painless, and lets make this happen.
4) Licorice and corn nuts.
5) Yes - If the sign of the cross counts.

[pdub]

1.77
2.0
3.Ask her out
4.Banana cream pie...everything else traditional
5.Yes

[NewtonHawk11]

1. 72

2. 0

3. Ask her out but don't do anything stupid.

4. Steak

5. Yes

[ousdahl]

1. 70s
2. 9
3. tell her you desperately wanna make love to a little schoolboy
4. grilled cheese sammich
5. lol no

[DrPepper]

1. 70
2. 4
3. Yes; no
4. I can’t
5. Yes

[kubandalum]

1. 50
2. All
3. Go for it. Worst that can happen is a restraining order.
4. Salami, eggs
5. Yes

[Deleted User 62]

If you still use the phrase "bang her"....you probably shouldn't.