DC says howdy

[japhy]

So I drove up to Lincoln NE to pick up my bi-weekly supply of Nepalese temple ball hash and I decided to stop in a place called Honest Abe’s to get a burger before I head back. And who the fuck do I run into standing in the lobby hawking his new book on a local wingnut radio show remote feed?

That bitch DC!

I stop and ask about the book. The title is intriguing…..”How Woke Capitalism Has Ruined Everything For The Douchebag Capitalist Class” subtitle; why liberals are such dicks or why liberals have bigger dicks or anyway, something about dicks.

I gave him a big hug for all of you and said you missed him.

He gave me a copy of his book, then he texts the New York Times bestseller list and gave himself credit for selling another copy, cuz that how conservatives do. He was alone, he said Creamcheese was riding her horse this afternoon and couldn’t make it to his big show. He showed me a photo of her horse; she named it “Japhy”…...he grimaced. I felt a little bad for him.

I changed the subject and we traded pleasantries. I asked if Abe was just honest or intellectually honest? He said, “more than twocoach”. I thought, well who is the dick now? He said to tell you all, “fuck you”. It seemed heartfelt.

He told me he was booked to appear on the Tucker Carlson show to talk about his book. He visibly got a boner just saying that. He got bumped from the show because they had to have Kayleigh McEnany on, she was hawking her new line of genital anti-wrinkle cream. I told him I thought Tucker was an asshole for doing him like that.

The burger was good.

I had some time to read the first chapter of the book when I got home. I promised to post my book review to Amazon. So it turns out the word “dick” shows up a lot in the book, true to the title. I would call the book a homoerotic economic fantasy novel. Imagine if Arthur Laffer rewrote “Naked Lunch” but without heroin to make the stories interesting. It is kinda like that, maybe the Nepalese temple balls will make it more interesting. I will try reading another chapter later tonight.

[pdub]

Sometimes I think japhy just has acid flashbacks and that’s when he decides to post on kcrim.

[defixione]

I've known Japhy for over 20 years. Sounds like a typical conversation.

[jhawks99]

Glad to hear DC and Suzi are doing well.

[hasbeen]

I felt like I was having a stroke reading the OP.

[twocoach]

WTF

[JKLivin]

Apparently the rumors of Hunter S. Thompson’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

[japhy]

I got a pm last night from Kelly Fenton also questioning the veracity of my accounting of the afternoon’s events.

I asked him if the story gained credibility, or if his enjoyment of it was increased, if I had told it with DC’s big Tucker appearance being bumped because the Gov of GA was interviewed instead? He knows that Suzie Creamcheese didn’t name her horse Japhy after me, but that is not my real name. Fenton has read many of DC’s rants and they bear no resemblance to the brilliance of William S Burroughs. Neither of us knows why, if DC had to pick one personal beef to comment on, it was twocoach. If I drove up to Lincoln to pick up a pair of Conant Ball side tables, does that substantially change the gist of the story? I did go to Lincoln to picks up balls, artistic license is part and parcel of telling any story. And a burger with chipotle cream cheese, gridled brussel sprouts and bacon mayo (Hammer of Thor) was not good, it was great.

That rat bastard Fenton still rated my story 4 Pinocchios.

You know what they say about “those who can’t”.

If at no point in the day your life resembles an acid flashback, maybe you're doing it wrong?

And yes, Solstice is real.

[pdub]

Cocaine is a helluvadrug.

[TDub]

I think that may be more a mushroom or lsd ride

[TDub]

Peyote perhaps, given general location of the "empire"

[pdub]

My drawing 101 teacher was 1/8th? native american and also taught at Haskell.
He would regale us with his weekend trips smoking peyote.
When I think of japhy, I imagine my drawing 101 teacher.

[TDub]

Id like to try peyote someday. When im retired and not responsible for anyone. Ha

[jhawks99]

I puuuuuuuuuked. Never again.

[japhy]

My drawing 101 teacher was 1/8th? native american and also taught at Haskell.
He would regale us with his weekend trips smoking peyote.
When I think of japhy, I imagine my drawing 101 teacher.

Am trying to remember you, what grade did I give you in class?

[pdub]

An A.

[Overlander]

I puuuuuuuuuked. Never again.

Yeah, other than being convinced that are literally puking your soul onto the earth, peyote is a pretty badass trip.

[japhy]

An A.

nah, that wasn't you

[ChalkRocker]

I gave him a big hug for all of you and said you missed him...

...He said to tell you all, “fuck you”. It seemed heartfelt.

Awwwww, man <sniff> the big lug...

I still miss him

[ChalkRocker]

I mean that