OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT A TINDER THREAD

[Back2Lawrence]

Dude, it’s Friday night. This is like Tinder rush hour. What you doing?

[ousdahl]

Ha I was chatting up this “buckle bunny” (Tdub can you confirm that term for us?) from the apps but yea I was exhausted and passed out early last night

[ousdahl]

Fuck yea!

Finally swiped a Latina!

¡Muy bien!

Dunno how it took so long. In a place like Colorado? I was getting ready to just move somewhere with better odds…like, Olathe.

She even has a cute Latina name and everything. Cuz it kinda sucks when you meet a Latina and she ends up having a name like Emily anyway.

For fuck’s sake! If I wanted an Emily I’d just be dating white chicks!

[Back2Lawrence]

The first two years of holidays are great, no cooking, eat, then watch sports, don’t want help with cleanup.

After that, it gets much less male-friendly, but admittedly better than I remember from my white family upbringing.

But you seem more focused on important things, like an ethnic name. ¡Ándale, Güey!

[Back2Lawrence]

Any cold sores yet, Ousdahl?

[JKLivin]

Might need to research chancres.

[ramjet]

Ha I was chatting up this “buckle bunny” (Tdub can you confirm that term for us?) from the apps but yea I was exhausted and passed out early last night

FarmersOnly.com is still a thing?

[Sparko]

We joke, but penicillin is in short supply right now and red state syphyllis is surging.

[Overlander]

red state syphyllis is surging.

Trickle down?

[TDub]

red state syphyllis is surging.

Trickle down?

https://youtu.be/NEGDl12LhnE?si=aw09PissP3S53eB0

[Overlander]

Nice

[Back2Lawrence]

I think his Latina might have been Cartel involved. Ousdahl.

[ousdahl]

Sounds like it could at least be a more exciting first date than getting pumpkin spice lattes with Emily.

[TDub]

writers strike. he has to invent some new adventures for you. Takes time.

[ousdahl]

I’ve matched with a lot of Jewish chicks.

That’s fine, and in a way I might even prefer them on a lot of levels.

But so far, every single one has led off - like first thing outta their mouth! - with, “ISRAEL HAS A RIGHT TO DEFEND ITSELF! DO YOU AGREE OR ARE YOU A WANNABE GOEBBELS!”

And also 4 of 5 have promptly followed up with, “so let’s not get ahead of ourselves but you want kids right? Cuz I want kids! Will you put a baby in me? Will someone, please, put a baby in me! My biological clock is ticking so put a baby in me!!!! But only if you also condemn Hamas…not that we should get ahead of ourselves!”

Still only one Latina tho.

[Back2Lawrence]

And also 4 of 5 have promptly followed up with, “so let’s not get ahead of ourselves but you want kids right? Cuz I want kids! Will you put a baby in me? Will someone, please, put a baby in me! My biological clock is ticking so put a baby in me!!!! But only if you also condemn Hamas…not that we should get ahead of ourselves!”

Sure, but since we aren't getting ahead of ourselves, and safety first, let's stick to the butt sects for now, just to be careful.

[ousdahl]

Oh yeah!

And the dood-haired hipster chick!

She still wants a mix cd but I suggested at least one proper real life hangout to get a feel for each other first.

She also spilled the beans on the most played CD in her collection. And, if we use this CD as a litmus test, I’m still not sure which way it goes:

“All Killer No Filler” by Sum 41.

Somebody help me get a read on that!

[ousdahl]

And also 4 of 5 have promptly followed up with, “so let’s not get ahead of ourselves but you want kids right? Cuz I want kids! Will you put a baby in me? Will someone, please, put a baby in me! My biological clock is ticking so put a baby in me!!!! But only if you also condemn Hamas…not that we should get ahead of ourselves!”

Sure, but since we aren't getting ahead of ourselves, and safety first, let's stick to the butt sects for now, just to be careful.

Meh, think I already blew my chance with all of them.

1. I was honest in saying, I’ve made it this far without kids so not sure I wanna start now, not that I’ve completely ruled it out. But the thing about kids is it has to be with the right partner, so your best bet is to start impressing me on more levels beyond just raw doggin.

2. No way I could possibly condemn Hamas! I love Hamas! For real have you ever had Hamas on some pita chips! Throw some pine nuts and roasted red peppers and shit in there too. Hamas is one of the best things to ever come out of the Middle East!

[twocoach]

Dating sounds awful.

[jhawks99]

Dating sounds awful.

This