OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT A TINDER THREAD

[Overlander]

Oh I’ll tell you direct if that’s your style. How you doing?

Hey, I admire a strong contingency plan!

[jhawks99]

Dating Ousdahl sounds awful.

I would guess...

I hear he's into early check-ins

[Back2Lawrence]

Oh I’ll tell you direct if that’s your style. How you doing?

Hey, I admire a strong contingency plan!

Cheers. I’m a great cuddler. I call big spoon.

I’ll bring a black light though, and we can play hide n seek.

[Overlander]

Oh I’ll tell you direct if that’s your style. How you doing?

Hey, I admire a strong contingency plan!

Cheers. I’m a great cuddler. I call big spoon.

I’ll bring a black light though, and we can play hide n seek.

Wow...that got DARK quick

[twocoach]

I have a date tonight. I booked a good but cheap room in Overland Park proactively, as it said 2 left. It's real close to where we going. I hope they have good wifi just in case I need it.

also: anyone from Utah, can I use your VPN. I know you have it to get on pornhub. thanks in advance.

Www.tryst.link

[ousdahl]

Man, just got fucking roasted on this bumble date. That was brutal. But still somehow got a kiss goodnight, wut.

How’s you do B2L? Anyone heard from him? Hopefully he isn’t still tied up with panties in his mouth in an Overland Park hotel room.




…ah who are we kidding. Hopefully he is.

[Back2Lawrence]

I just woke up from a 31 hour nap. That’s all I can say.

[ousdahl]

atta boy!

[ousdahl]

and, man. After talking to some homies about it, I don't feel so bad about getting roasted.

When I say "roasted," I mean not like hella stoned or something - if only! Rather, she just roasted me like the New York Friar's Club.

But at least the New York Friar's Club is funny! And the roast is making fun of someone endearingly cuz you admire them.

This chick was basically, "Ousdahl get yer shit together!" And I mean, duh, yea, I know.

But she went on to treat it less like a date, and more like the most condescending career counseling of all time. She scolded me for my recent career change, and not having that further along already. She scolded me for not having more saved up for retirement, which she said she could tell without even asking that I didn't have. She scolded me for not being more proactive on LinkedIn (but hey, at least I'm proactive on Bumble?). She presented her favorite cover letter templates that have yielded her the most success.

Thanks for the advice babe! How's yer pizza?

on that - she also got 1. gluten free crust, which was like a $10 upcharge for a thin little cardboredy-tasting thing. Then she also got no cheese.

Not dairy-free cheese, not plant-based cheese...just, no cheese.

We had cardboard crust, sauce, and veggies. She even pushed for pineapple, but at least pumped her own brakes on that.

I swear she was cool on the first date!

But yea, I think I know why she's single. And my streak of finding the craziest chicks of all time endures.

She even has my socks! We hiked before, and she said her feet were cold. I keep extra warm clothing in my truck, so I offered her Qusdahl and NiceDC. And she never gave em back! There goes my retirement portfolio.

Perhaps the most redeeming moment also became the fucking wildest:

She goes on another rant about how Israel has a right to defend itself, but then concedes she does feel sorry for all the Palestinian kids being bombed. Whoa, a glimpse of humanity!

but then she drops this bomb:

"Though, even if I was Palestinian, and if I had the choice between my own kid either being bombed or my own kid growing up to join Hamas, I'd rather have my own kid be bombed."

[TDub]

everybody is condescending. seems like a pattern

[ousdahl]

hey TDub!

Know how I know you like gluten-free pizza with no cheese?

[Overlander]

What if she NEEDS to avoid Glutens?

[TDub]

didn't even read that far into the daily fake.

[ousdahl]

What if she NEEDS to avoid Glutens?

that's a valid concern, as is the concern to avoid cheese.

but then the question becomes, why'd she pick a pizza place?

[Overlander]

She likes pizza?

The two are not mutually exclusive

[ousdahl]

When does pizza become pizza? When is pizza not even pizza any more?

Cuz if you’re gonna just eat sauce and veggies on some weird thin crumbly crusty starch, that’s almost not even pizza any more, and closer to just being…Hamas…

[Back2Lawrence]

You were too big a pussy to order your own pizza? Or suggest it? Even if she thought you were a dead beat financially, she might have appreciated your ability to demonstrate a backbone I’m not enduring food you’d find repulsive. And you coulda needed a nap, perhaps.

Also: I saw some pineapple on pizza thread and didn’t comment. I like pineapple on pizza, but only if countered with a hot pepper topping or such to thwart the sweetness of the pineapple.

[Back2Lawrence]

PS you should ask for your socks back. Send her your address. Tell her mail or personal delivery is fine. And that you have good weed.

[DCHawk1]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAy-RxquZPk

[pdub]

She sounds awful but the fact that Ousdahl didn't order his own pizza after she decided to eat fake bread might be worse than that.