OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT A TINDER THREAD

[Shirley]

Eewwwww

^

Like a million other things that are totally subjective and might not be true for or apply to anyone else...

One of the more valuable lessons I learned very early into the ~ 10 years between my marriages was that, much to my infinite and total surprise, it was actually possible to be bored with an attractive naked woman. It saved me an immense amount of time not feeling the need to go to Westport with my male friends on Fri and Sat nights hoping to get laid, and it dovetailed nicely with my increasing awareness of and insight into infectious diseases, and inclination for quality* over quantity.

* "quality" in the sense of having taken the time to form some emotional attachment first.

Your experience may differ

Q needs to at the very least define "quality," in the sense of not having to take the time to hit the Emergicare for a round of antibiotics after the date.

Rereading what I wrote again this morning, to be fair, in the case of "are you down for car sex" setting the tone...the expectations...and lack thereof, that mitigates the circumstances immensely compared to what I was referring to. In the 80s into the early 90s, at least in my experience, casual sex was but the opening gambit*. An expectation of the future was implicit, and knowing I didn't share the feeling turned the woman into a victim, in my eyes, made me feel like a phony, and took the fun out of it. (I know, right? WTAF?)

When you look at the definition of "gambit", the metaphors for what I'm talking about leap off the page.

*gambit - a device, action, or opening remark, typically one entailing a degree of risk, that is calculated to gain an advantage

(in chess) an opening in which a player makes a sacrifice, typically of a pawn, for the sake of some compensating advantage

“In investing, What is comfortable is rarely profitable.”
Robert Arnott

Which is to say, investments don't give extravagant returns until and unless you take some risk.

[pdub]

Did ya'll not have protection, i.e. condoms, when you were growing up?

[Shirley]

Did ya'll not have protection, i.e. condoms, when you were growing up?

Yup. They were sold in vending machines hanging on the walls of the men's bathrooms at filling stations for $0.75, and the package often had the picture of a scantily clad woman on it.

(For reference, I was too young for the "summer of love", 1967, and by the time I "arrived", most of the "free love" hippie mindset, to the extent it ever existed...defixione?, had receded back toward more virtuous.)

[pdub]

Huh.
You couldn't get more reputable ones at a drug store or something?

[Shirley]

Huh.
You couldn't get more reputable ones at a drug store or something?

Funny you'd ask.

After 2 years working at Dillons grocery store, I moved up to working at a small pharmacy owned by the pharmacist. My main responsibility was delivering the Rx's, but in between I worked the counter. And if I wasn't working the counter one of the 2 adult females were.

Condoms were not something you talked about in public, and were not yet something you could buy off the counter at a pharmacy, and certainly not at your local grocery store like today.

(From Wikipedia)

...Advertising was one area that continued to have legal restrictions. In the late 1950s, the American National Association of Broadcasters banned condom advertisements from national television. This policy remained in place until 1979, when the U.S. Justice department had it overturned in court.[1]: 273–4, 285  In the U.S., advertisements for condoms were mostly limited to men's magazines such as Penthouse.[1]: 285–6  The first television ad, on the California station KNTV, aired in 1975: it was quickly pulled after it attracted national attention.[1]: 274  And in over 30 states, advertising condoms as birth control devices was still illegal.[1]: 266 

We're talking early mid-70s, and because condoms weren't out on the shelf even in a pharmacy, anyone who wanted to buy them had to ask. The process was akin to running a gauntlet, of sorts... It was easy to spot an aspiring condom customer:

-Adult male

-Wandering around aimlessly in the tiny pharmacy, declining offers from the female clerks and me when offered help, yet not buying anything or leaving. The tension made all of us uncomfortable for him.

-Then, the (male) pharmacist would get off the phone or reappear from the back room, and the poor guy would rocket over to the counter where the pharmacist was, whisper to him, the pharmacist would nod knowingly...disappear...reappear with a paper bag, and write the 3-level carbon copy receipt, and wring his purchase up. The pharmacist never ran the cash register, except on such occasions.

The male left full of anticipation, and the entire room exhaled in relief.


Why is it called a gauntlet?
Gauntlet comes from the Old French word for "glove," which was thrown down as a symbol of a challenge. “Running the gauntlet” is an old military form of punishment in which the victim runs between two rows of men wearing armored gloves, who beat him as he passes through the lines.

[Overlander]

Huh.
You couldn't get more reputable ones at a drug store or something?

Funny you'd ask.

After 2 years working at Dillons grocery store, I moved up to working at a small pharmacy owned by the pharmacist. My main responsibility was delivering the Rx's, but in between I worked the counter. And if I wasn't working the counter one of the 2 adult females were.

Condoms were not something you talked about in public, and were not yet something you could buy off the counter at a pharmacy, and certainly not at your local grocery store like today.

(From Wikipedia)

...Advertising was one area that continued to have legal restrictions. In the late 1950s, the American National Association of Broadcasters banned condom advertisements from national television. This policy remained in place until 1979, when the U.S. Justice department had it overturned in court.[1]: 273–4, 285  In the U.S., advertisements for condoms were mostly limited to men's magazines such as Penthouse.[1]: 285–6  The first television ad, on the California station KNTV, aired in 1975: it was quickly pulled after it attracted national attention.[1]: 274  And in over 30 states, advertising condoms as birth control devices was still illegal.[1]: 266 

We're talking early mid-70s, and because condoms weren't out on the shelf even in a pharmacy, anyone who wanted to buy them had to ask. The process was akin to running a gauntlet, of sorts... It was easy to spot an aspiring condom customer:

-Adult male

-Wandering around aimlessly in the tiny pharmacy, declining offers from the female clerks and me when offered help, yet not buying anything or leaving. The tension made all of us uncomfortable for him.

-Then, the (male) pharmacist would get off the phone or reappear from the back room, and the poor guy would rocket over to the counter where the pharmacist was, whisper to him, the pharmacist would nod knowingly...disappear...reappear with a paper bag, and write the 3-level carbon copy receipt, and wring his purchase up. The pharmacist never ran the cash register, except on such occasions.

The male left full of anticipation, and the entire room exhaled in relief.

Add…slithered away in a blanket of both shame and accomplishment.

[Shirley]

Yeah, the poor guys couldn't get out of there fast enough.

[pdub]

Fuckin' A.
I probably shoulda known this but fuckin' A.

Or actually, less fucking, eh?

[ousdahl]

For the record, I’ve been monogamous lately.

Been with the same woman for a couple months now.

We agreed to use condoms until we both got tested, just to be responsible, not that either of us had reason to believe we’d been exposed or noticed symptoms.

But, man, homegirl’s even hornier than me. It was her idea to go for car sex, cuz, when you happen to meet for lunch in an unfamiliar town and she’s thirsty for the D however she can get it, where else were we supposed to go?

Also, speaking of condom purchases - if you ever want to be eye fucked by every single female at the Super Target, walk around with a bouquet of flowers and a box of Trojans.

[Shirley]

Fuckin' A.
I probably shoulda known this but fuckin' A.

Or actually, less fucking, eh?

You should hear the story about the day a girl (and good friend of mine) in my high school (senior) class came in to have a prescription for birth control pills filled.

[jhawks99]

My cousin gave me one when I was a teenager, just in case. Of course, I put it in my wallet, which developed the telltale circle of shame on it.

BTW, no one called the condoms then.

[Shirley]

My cousin gave me one when I was a teenager, just in case. Of course, I put it in my wallet, which developed the telltale circle of shame on it.

BTW, no one called them condoms then.

Hey 99, lose your wallet?



Delbert McClinton: B-Movie Boxcar Blues

[ousdahl]

My cousin gave me one when I was a teenager, just in case. Of course, I put it in my wallet, which developed the telltale circle of shame on it.

BTW, no one called the condoms then.

lol

When my childhood buddy Doran (Defix, that dopey stoner bro I brought over to your patio last summer! No not me, the other dood!)

Anywho so once we hit puberty Doran made a pround point to keep a condom in his wallet. He was sooo sure he was gonna finally get laid like any day now for sure.

One day he calls and says he is thinks he left his wallet at my house. I find a wallet and assume it’s his but check for an ID to be sure.

There’s no ID, no cards, no cash.

Just condoms.

Like prob a dozen stashed in there.

Honestly an even better way to affirmatively identify Doran’s wallet than a driver’s license.

To this day, I’m pretty sure he’s still a virgin.

[Shirley]

My cousin gave me one when I was a teenager, just in case. Of course, I put it in my wallet, which developed the telltale circle of shame on it.

BTW, no one called the condoms then.

lol

When my childhood buddy Doran (Defix, that dopey stoner bro I brought over to your patio last summer! No not me, the other dood!)

Anywho so once we hit puberty Doran made a pround point to keep a condom in his wallet. He was sooo sure he was gonna finally get laid like any day now for sure.

One day he calls and says he is thinks he left his wallet at my house. I find a wallet and assume it’s his but check for an ID to be sure.

There’s no ID, no cards, no cash.

Just condoms.

Like prob a dozen stashed in there.

To this day, I’m pretty sure he’s still a virgin.

Boy Scout

[Sparko]

Shroom commercial:

https://youtu.be/Fi1xBqJnvRc?si=BQA8LHn_aJNbhYr8

[RainbowsandUnicorns]

For the record, I’ve been monogamous lately.

Been with the same woman for a couple months now.

We agreed to use condoms until we both got tested, just to be responsible, not that either of us had reason to believe we’d been exposed or noticed symptoms.

But, man, homegirl’s even hornier than me. It was her idea to go for car sex, cuz, when you happen to meet for lunch in an unfamiliar town and she’s thirsty for the D however she can get it, where else were we supposed to go?

Also, speaking of condom purchases - if you ever want to be eye fucked by every single female at the Super Target, walk around with a bouquet of flowers and a box of Trojans.

I'm sorry, but if "every single female" "eye fucked" me for buying a bouquet of flowers (and Trojans) in a Super Target, I would have ZERO interest in having ANY kind of relationship with ANY of them.

P.S. If your woman is thirsty for the D however she can get it, it's a good thing you're using condoms - and I can't help but wonder why it's your D she needs so badly and why she can't get D elsewhere.

I'm just sayin'.

[ousdahl]

OK gutter, I’ll break up with her.

[RainbowsandUnicorns]

OK gutter, I’ll break up with her.

I was going to be crude but I'll simply say..... ALL relationships come to an end.

[pdub]

We don’t know that.

[Overlander]

For the record, I’ve been monogamous lately.

Been with the same woman for a couple months now.

We agreed to use condoms until we both got tested, just to be responsible, not that either of us had reason to believe we’d been exposed or noticed symptoms.

But, man, homegirl’s even hornier than me. It was her idea to go for car sex, cuz, when you happen to meet for lunch in an unfamiliar town and she’s thirsty for the D however she can get it, where else were we supposed to go?

Also, speaking of condom purchases - if you ever want to be eye fucked by every single female at the Super Target, walk around with a bouquet of flowers and a box of Trojans.

I'm sorry, but if "every single female" "eye fucked" me for buying a bouquet of flowers (and Trojans) in a Super Target, I would have ZERO interest in having ANY kind of relationship with ANY of them.

I seriously blew beer out my nose!