OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT A TINDER THREAD

[TDub]

none of them are real, at least not in the way they're represented here

[ousdahl]

ha, no.

She's a bit...um, fickle?

True to form, we were supposed to hang out this week, but now she's just messaging vagaries about how she's too emotionally drained, and insinuating I should support her more, but when I ask to cook dinner for her and be emotionally available and otherwise what I can do to support her, she ghosts.

Part of me almost wishes it was as simple as maybe she's banging some other dood, but I don't even think she's cool enough to do that.

[ousdahl]

none of them are real, at least not in the way they're represented here

bro you should see the way this babe prances around in a pair of Wrangler jeans.

[pdub]

...but when I ask to cook dinner for her and be emotionally available and otherwise what I can do to support her, she ghosts.

Oh man.
You're in your late 30's and still don't understand how to play.

[ousdahl]

what is that supposed to mean?

Are you doubting my Alfredo recipe?

[twocoach]

If she makes more excuses not to be with you than she makes efforts to be with you then she's not into you as anything more than a provider of some free food and drinks when she's in the mood for them.

[ousdahl]

Yeah, I don’t disagree.

I’ve maintained all along with her, and with every date of late, that one of the most important things to me with a partner is the most robust communication possible.

That much has afforded us getting to the point we agree we don’t have serious long term potential together, but still casually each other’s company enough to…well, casually enjoy each other’s company.

But, she doesn’t even seem to wanna take advantage of my food and drink provisions. She’s just moody, mercurial, and…didn’t I already mention fickle?

[pdub]

Break up with her.

[ousdahl]

Yea.

Fwiw this latest hang was gonna be the “btw I’m going on other dates again” talk. I guess I don’t owe it to her on one hand, but on the other my desire for open communication says I should.

[jhawks99]

Dammit, Pdub beat me to it

[Overlander]

ha, no.

She's a bit...um, fickle?

True to form, we were supposed to hang out this week, but now she's just messaging vagaries about how she's too emotionally drained, and insinuating I should support her more, but when I ask to cook dinner for her and be emotionally available and otherwise what I can do to support her, she ghosts.

Part of me almost wishes it was as simple as maybe she's banging some other dood, but I don't even think she's cool enough to do that.

She is either:

Married

In a relationship

Thinks your a turd

[Overlander]

I’ve maintained all along with her, and with every date of late, that one of the most important things to me with a partner is the most robust communication possible.

I am sure she enjoys it just as much as we all do.

[ousdahl]

ha, no.

She's a bit...um, fickle?

True to form, we were supposed to hang out this week, but now she's just messaging vagaries about how she's too emotionally drained, and insinuating I should support her more, but when I ask to cook dinner for her and be emotionally available and otherwise what I can do to support her, she ghosts.

Part of me almost wishes it was as simple as maybe she's banging some other dood, but I don't even think she's cool enough to do that.

She is either:

Married

In a relationship

Thinks your a turd

well of course...everyone thinks I'm a turd!

[Overlander]

ha, no.

She's a bit...um, fickle?

True to form, we were supposed to hang out this week, but now she's just messaging vagaries about how she's too emotionally drained, and insinuating I should support her more, but when I ask to cook dinner for her and be emotionally available and otherwise what I can do to support her, she ghosts.

Part of me almost wishes it was as simple as maybe she's banging some other dood, but I don't even think she's cool enough to do that.

She is either:

Married

In a relationship

Thinks your a turd

well of course...everyone thinks I'm a turd!

Seriously, she is attached

[ousdahl]

Man. So update!

Had 3 dates lined up and went 2/3 over the weekend.

The car sex babe I had been seeing for a few months flaked again. At this point pretty sure she’s banging Overlander. Was gonna have a closure talk if I saw her but at this point might just have to send her one of them John Deere letters.

Went fishing with the cowgirl. Overwhelmingly attractive, extremely babely, holy shit what a babe, if she were president she would be Baberham Lincoln, but afraid the connection just isn’t there. After what was an otherwise alluring buildup, we both kinda just bonded over cynicism, and how disenchanted we are with adulting. She was impressed as eff with my fishing skills like, “holy shit ous, you said you were just gonna give me a quick fly casting lesson, but you’ve already landed 4 fish!” Thought we’d get dinner that night, but she said she was gonna catch up to eat with the fam. Mentioned how close she is to them, they do so much together and support each other about everything, which she credited as much of the reason she’s so successful in life. I candidly blurt out that I wish I was closer to my fam, but the relationship is kinda toxic, and the only thing that’s ever improved it is simply not talking to them for a couple years. I credit that as much of the reason I ended up such a fuck off.

In hindsight, kinda wonder if I shouldn’t have said anything.

Then, fresh talent! This bumble babe I been chatting up for a couple weeks, crunchy granola hippie type. Encyclopedic knowledge of music. Met up in a public park for a picnic, and was gonna catch a bluegrass show later that evening, but ended up mostly just smoking weed and checking out the stars. Bright, but mostly just in a I-know-more-about-the-Dark-Star-thread-than-you kinda way. She kept ranting about how much she hates her mom and brother, and I realized it was rather unbecoming. She also set up a crystal shrine to get the chakras right for the picnic.



I know I’m kind of a mountain dirtbag myself at this point, but she was too much for even me…straight up fuckin wook!

Also, I almost started a new thread called, “generational trauma”

I kinda have this theory that a LOT of people are low key addicted to toxic relationship dynamics, often unknowingly, and kinda get off to treating a partner/being treated like shit.

Part of the reason why my “let’s openly communicate and positively support one another and just be human beings here” approach kinda sucks.

[pdub]

10 years ago cowgirl and I would be second dating at a bar.
I would not have shared anything about 'how toxic my family' was even if it was.

[jhawks99]

I made it to Babraham Lincoln and had to bail.

[ousdahl]

10 years ago cowgirl and I would be second dating at a bar.
I would not have shared anything about 'how toxic my family' was even if it was.

Yea.

On a practical level, I think the best answer/what I’m looking for is, something like “my family dynamic is kinda fucked up too but I’m trying to break the cycle and consciously manifest healthy relationships now”

Cuz I mean, you get along with your fam, who the fuck can relate to that?!

[pdub]

“my family dynamic is kinda fucked up too but I’m trying to break the cycle and consciously manifest healthy relationships now”

God, do people actually talk like that in real life today?

[ousdahl]

No.

We been over this.

Ain’t no dynamic is fucked up, you’re just being too sensitive.

Now go get me another beer before you piss me off.