This week in feminism...

[HouseDivided]

It's known as mansplaining.
carry on

Call it what you will. Women line up to pay $175 an hour to be "mainsplained", and I'm regularly booked out a month in advance. Apparently there's a market.

[Deleted User 104]

If attempting to speak with more logic and truth is mansplaining, sign me up.

[seahawk]

Only pointing out that a lot of upper middle class feminists took on the causes of women who had to work, for the women who weren't born into privilege, women who needed decent pay, sick leave--all the benefits that men born to privilege and who like to bash feminists take for granted.

They spent their time working to gain rights for those women who didn't have the time or money to go to any therapist, who aren't thinking about whether to stay at home, because they have no choice--they must work to put food on the table. Feminists managed to get all kinds of rights for that group of women--but even now, haven't yet gotten affordable childcare for families where mother has to work. Perhaps as we have more female presidential candidates and the male chauvinist pigs like Sanders die off, feminists will finally get to that most important goal. Until then, the garbage anti-feminist videos from Lobster are just....garbage.

There are male therapists who are certainly helpful, but one who explains that women are only out to get men to pay for sex or demeans women who work as waitresses is not going to be very good for a woman who has to work to put clothes on her kids' backs.

[PhDhawk]

Well, it does exist, despite you not hearing or seeing it. Unfortunately, it's very popular in spaces where people are supposed to be thinking critically and focusing on what is true.

Can you give me an example?

Have you been to a public university recently? I travel sometimes for events at these places and a lot of them are flooded with this stuff.

HD gave a very good example of a common experience. I've met a lot of people, and it's very common for women I've met to want to become stay at home mothers in their early 30's. Some of them had impressive careers in law and other fields where they pulled down good salaries.

I'm not here to say a woman (or anyone) should not live their dream. I'm just here to point out that there are trade-offs in life. Very few people can do everything well simultaneously, and most of us shouldn't keep trying if it's obvious we can't. I've known several very successful men in the music industry out here and they have lost their wives due to the amount of time they had to spend in the office (80 hour weeks are very common, unfortunately). I just want to push back against this nonsense that gets women into these impossible situations where they can't win. I want people to be healthy and happy.

I agree with most of what you're saying.

I guess I'm hung up on you making it specifically about women.

A man who works 80 hours is probably equally likely to do damage to his relationships as a woman.

Impossible expectations shouldn't be placed on anyone regardless of sex.

Were the successful men you're talking about making sacrifices at their jobs to benefit their marriage? Seems like you could blame both parties if they both made work a higher priority.

It just seems to me that everyone has to find balance in their lives, find ways to make priorities for themselves, and choose the trade-offs, that we all have to make, that work for them.

Am I missing something (other than the difference in the duration of time of fertility) that these things need to be mentioned to women exclusively?

[chiknbut]

I'd like to just step in here quickly to point out that I don't think there are three better experts deserving to comment on a thread about feminism than Lobby, Psych and Ben Shapiro.

Now back to your original programming.

[PhDhawk]

LOL @ "male therapist"

Don’t laugh - we’re becoming as rare as unicorns. You’d be surprised how many women specifically request a male therapist.

Makes sense -- they want someone more logical.

Seriously?

Who hurt you?

[HouseDivided]

I'd like to just step in here quickly to point out that I don't think there are three better experts deserving to comment on a thread about feminism than Lobby, Psych and Ben Shapiro.

Now back to your original programming.

But you're an expert who deserves to comment on the inner workings of Lobby, me, and Ben Shapiro?

[HouseDivided]

Don’t laugh - we’re becoming as rare as unicorns. You’d be surprised how many women specifically request a male therapist.

Makes sense -- they want someone more logical.

Seriously?

Who hurt you?

You're right. They want to pay good money for someone to repeatedly squawk "racist", "misogynist", "mansplaining," and "f--ck you" over and over again.

[chiknbut]

I'd like to just step in here quickly to point out that I don't think there are three better experts deserving to comment on a thread about feminism than Lobby, Psych and Ben Shapiro.

Now back to your original programming.

But you're an expert who deserves to comment on the inner workings of Lobby, me, and Ben Shapiro?

Best I can see, all three of you are trolling. Not hard to figure out.

[PhDhawk]

Makes sense -- they want someone more logical.

Seriously?

Who hurt you?

You're right. They want to pay good money for someone to repeatedly squawk "racist", "misogynist", "mansplaining," and "f--ck you" over and over again.

Being logical is not exclusive to one sex.

Neither is the sillyness you're posting about.

I'd imagine you could find a good therapist who is male or female, just as you could find a bad one who's male or female.

[chiknbut]

"Being logical is not exclusive to one sex."

Pardon my interruption, but this is no way to work yourself into Lobby's secret society of intellectuals.

[PhDhawk]

"Being logical is not exclusive to one sex."

Pardon my interruption, but this is no way to work yourself into Lobby's secret society of intellectuals.

it's possible I'm not cut out for it.

Maybe I lack the nuance.

[Deleted User 104]

Seriously?

Who hurt you?

You're right. They want to pay good money for someone to repeatedly squawk "racist", "misogynist", "mansplaining," and "f--ck you" over and over again.

Being logical is not exclusive to one sex.

Who said it was? Men do happen to think more logical by nature, but there are women who think more logical than some men I know on here on this board.

If you're wondering why women would want to see a male for answers, it's because men are more likely to give you answers or direction over feelings.

[Deleted User 104]

Chikin trying so hard. lol

[chiknbut]

"Who said it was? Men do happen to think more logical by nature..."

Can't make this shit up.

[HouseDivided]

I'd like to just step in here quickly to point out that I don't think there are three better experts deserving to comment on a thread about feminism than Lobby, Psych and Ben Shapiro.

Now back to your original programming.

But you're an expert who deserves to comment on the inner workings of Lobby, me, and Ben Shapiro?

Best I can see, all three of you are trolling. Not hard to figure out.

Can't speak for anyone other than myself, but I was not at all trolling. It is possible for good, intelligent, earnest people to disagree and still be good, intelligent, and earnest.

[Deleted User 104]

And you left out the other part of what I said...

[HouseDivided]

Seriously?

Who hurt you?

You're right. They want to pay good money for someone to repeatedly squawk "racist", "misogynist", "mansplaining," and "f--ck you" over and over again.

Being logical is not exclusive to one sex.

Neither is the sillyness you're posting about.

I'd imagine you could find a good therapist who is male or female, just as you could find a bad one who's male or female.

Never claimed the contrary. I merely stated facts: a) there are very few male therapists out there anymore and b) many women specifically request male therapists. I never speculated as to why nor did I make any attributions. Also never said that there were not good female therapists out there.

[PhDhawk]

You're right. They want to pay good money for someone to repeatedly squawk "racist", "misogynist", "mansplaining," and "f--ck you" over and over again.

Being logical is not exclusive to one sex.

Who said it was? Men do happen to think more logical by nature, but there are women who think more logical than some men I know on here on this board.

If you're wondering why women would want to see a male for answers, it's because men are more likely to give you answers or direction over feelings.

I know there are studies comparing male and female brains as well as studies that show how we think, etc. is different between sexes.

Let's just accept that there are, on the population-level, differences between men on women. These can't be applied to individuals. Even those studies that say there is a difference, agree that you can't apply anything meaningful to an individual.

For example, it may be that if you tested a thousand brains from each sex, that women have a relatively larger hippocampus than men....that doesn't mean anything individually because you can't look at a brain, analyze the size of the hipocampus and say with any degree of confidence which sex it came from. For the same reasons then, you can't just pick a woman out and with any degree of confidence, assume she has a large hippocampus.

Therefore, if you're seeking a therapist who's logical, you're better off looking for indications that a given therapist is logical than you are assuming a male therapist will be logical and a female one won't.

[Deleted User 104]

I agree with your point that if you can choose a therapist based on their ability to be logical, that is the way to go. You should always choose based on merit if possible. However, I think it's fair to say that if you picked a therapist at random, chances are higher that you would get a more logical person if you chose a male.