This week in feminism...

[Shirley]

Here's an example of a woman who is working to make it easier for people to run for office while being a parent, taking care of their parents, etc.

This Mom Wants to Make It Easier for Single Parents Like Her to Run for Office

When Katie Porter decided to run for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives it wasn’t as a career politician—she was a single mom of three who was determined to do what she could to help fix the system. Porter, who attended Yale and Harvard and went on to teach law at the University of California, Irvine, was a long-time consumer advocate and policy specialist. In the wake of the 2016 presidential election, she felt like she could make a difference and that running for Congress was the best path forward.

After successfully completing her run for office in California by defeating a two-term incumbent, Porter not only became the first Democrat to win her district since its creation, she also became the first single mother to ever hold a seat in the U.S. Congress. And now her mission is to ensure that others like her have the ability to run for office and not be held back by lack of support for single moms.

In 2019, Porter introduced the Help America Run Act which would allow candidates to put a percentage of campaign contributions toward child care expenses, elder care expenses, and health insurance premiums over the course of the campaign. “We want a diverse Congress, we want to hear a lot of different voices; so the idea behind the Help America Run Act is to make it possible for people from all different walks of life, all different backgrounds—whether you’re taking care of your parents or taking care of kids, whether you’re in a position to afford health care or not—we want you to be able to make a run for Congress and let the people elect the best person to be their voice.”

The bill passed in the House with a bipartisan majority and is pending to be heard by the Senate.

[...]

[PhDhawk]

Because, men do not have babies and have a biological clock. Men can impregnate a woman well into their 70's if they wanted, but women have about it until age 40 to have children (on average). Women must plan for having a family if they want one a lot more carefully than men because the window is much shorter. This horrible advice that women should "go have a career and put off children until age 38" is ruining women's dreams.

What about women who don't want kids? What about men who want to be fathers, not just sperm donors? What about situations with stay at home dads where the mother earns the primary income?

I refuse to answer any more questions until you tell if if I'm right or wrong about the statement I previously made. This will help me determine if you're sincere in this discussion.

You want me to tell you that you're right that women are reproductive for a shorter period of time than men? Yes that's true although i think menopause usually starts after 45. But men are fertile longer.

But, let's be honest, impregnating a woman at 70 is not the same thing as starting a family. If a man wants a family, he's also got a window...albeit a longer one.

[Geezer]

It will be pending in Mitch's Senate until hell freezes over.

[Deleted User 104]

What about women who don't want kids? What about men who want to be fathers, not just sperm donors? What about situations with stay at home dads where the mother earns the primary income?

I refuse to answer any more questions until you tell if if I'm right or wrong about the statement I previously made. This will help me determine if you're sincere in this discussion.

You want me to tell you that you're right that women are reproductive for a shorter period of time than men? Yes that's true although i think menopause usually starts after 45. But men are fertile longer.

But, let's be honest, impregnating a woman at 70 is not the same thing as starting a family. If a man wants a family, he's also got a window...albeit a longer one.

Good, but do you now understand why I focused on women rather than men in regards to this topic? Most men will not wait until 70 to have children, but my point is, they can. Women have to plan differently in this department as you now admit you agree with me on.

Menopause might start at 45, but we all know it's an unwise decision to wait and try for children at age 40-45. You also increase the chances of health issues / down syndrome, etc.

Now, with that out of the way, to answer your other questions:

What about women who don't want kids?
A: There's nothing wrong with this. Go for it if that's what she wants. Just make sure it's what you really want, because there's no turning back after age 40 for most women.

What about men who want to be fathers, not just sperm donors?
A: I'm not suggesting men become fathers at age 70. It's going to be too taxing for most people at that age. But men can be choosy and pick anytime between their 20's and 60's to start a family.

What about situations with stay at home dads where the mother earns the primary income?
A: I already answered this previously -- nothing wrong with this. Again, just make sure it's what you both really want. A lot of women do want a man to be successful than them, so it's worth keeping that in mind. I've known some cases of women I know personally who were making pretty good salaries (60-70K) who became frustrated with their husbands who didn't have much drive to work hard and earn. I personally couldn't do it, as I wouldn't be satisfied with my life, but that's just me.

[PhDhawk]

Birth defects also increase in likelihood as father's age increases. So, If we're going to limit women because of things like down syndrome, we ought to hold men accountable too. Also, if a woman giving birth beyond 40 is an unwise decision because of trisomy 21, I think it's pretty safe to say fathering a child at an age where you'll could just as easily be dead before the child reaches adulthood is an equally unwised decision, so let's take it easy with the men can start a family at 60 business. When I'm 60 I'll be thinking about retirement, not changind diapers.

Don't you think that women, even more than you, are acutely aware of the fact that they have a limited time in which to have children?

Lots of people can't have children biologically. They often choose to adopt. So there's also that option.

Like I said, I'm on board with not shaming women into having careers if they really want to raise children instead. But, what you're doing is dangerously close to becoming the same thing, which is, shaming women out of careers and into raising a family.

I think we should let women decide for themselves what they want to do in terms of career and family.

And, let's also keep in mind that there are shitloads of women who have children/raise families and have careers. There are trad-offs, like you said, but lots of people are successful on both fronts.

[Deleted User 62]

I refuse to answer any more questions until you tell if if I'm right or wrong about the statement I previously made. This will help me determine if you're sincere in this discussion.

You want me to tell you that you're right that women are reproductive for a shorter period of time than men? Yes that's true although i think menopause usually starts after 45. But men are fertile longer.

But, let's be honest, impregnating a woman at 70 is not the same thing as starting a family. If a man wants a family, he's also got a window...albeit a longer one.

Good, but do you now understand why I focused on women rather than men in regards to this topic? Most men will not wait until 70 to have children, but my point is, they can. Women have to plan differently in this department as you now admit you agree with me on.

Menopause might start at 45, but we all know it's an unwise decision to wait and try for children at age 40-45. You also increase the chances of health issues / down syndrome, etc.

Now, with that out of the way, to answer your other questions:

What about women who don't want kids?
A: There's nothing wrong with this. Go for it if that's what she wants. Just make sure it's what you really want, because there's no turning back after age 40 for most women.

What about men who want to be fathers, not just sperm donors?
A: I'm not suggesting men become fathers at age 70. It's going to be too taxing for most people at that age. But men can be choosy and pick anytime between their 20's and 60's to start a family.

What about situations with stay at home dads where the mother earns the primary income?
I've known some cases of women I know personally who were making pretty good salaries (60-70K) who became frustrated with their husbands who didn't have much drive to work hard and earn.

Jeebus

[Deleted User 104]

Don't you think that women, even more than you, are acutely aware of the fact that they have a limited time in which to have children?

A: Some are, but a lot are not. How do I know this? I've known of several friends who dated women who waited too late to have children and regretted it. It's heartbreaking to hear this if you care about others. A lot of women are just born to be mothers and they realize it too late.

Lots of people can't have children biologically. They often choose to adopt. So there's also that option.

A: Yes, and it's a great thing to do. However, some people do prefer to pass on their own genes and would rather raise their own offspring.

Like I said, I'm on board with not shaming women into having careers if they really want to raise children instead. But, what you're doing is dangerously close to becoming the same thing, which is, shaming women out of careers and into raising a family.

A: Not sure how you equate giving important advice to women as being "dangerous". I think it's dangerous to be uneducated on these things and find out too late that you cannot live your dream of having your own kids. I have not shamed or implied that I want to shame anyone for their decisions -- I simply want them to be aware of the trade-offs.

I think we should let women decide for themselves what they want to do in terms of career and family.

A: I never said they shouldn't have that right. But they need to be aware of the dangers and consequences of their choices.

And, let's also keep in mind that there are shitloads of women who have children/raise families and have careers. There are trad-offs, like you said, but lots of people are successful on both fronts.

A: I don't agree. Most people who are raising children and working full time are not doing a great job at raising their children. This includes men too. This is why a 2 parent home where one of them stays home for the first developmental years is so important.

[seahawk]

Like jeepin said, Jeebus.

It's 2020 and pretty much women know what causes babies and how long it lasts that they'll be able to make them.

This takes mansplaining to some kind of unreal level.

[chiknbut]

"Men are not superior to women..."

Whoa. I was starting to come around to your way of thinking until you went here, Lobby. Way to ruin a perfectly good conversion.

[HouseDivided]

Serious question about the female mind:

At every place I have ever worked, the women in the office are constantly complaining about their weight and are always telling everyone that they are on a diet. Despite this fact, magically, every morning, fresh-baked muffins, homemade cookies, donuts, and bags of snack-sized candy bars appear on the tables in the break room.

I know for a fact that the men are not baking them, nor do men (typically) bring candy to share with everyone else. I know this because all of us misogynists have pondered this conundrum collectively on multiple occasions out of earshot of the females.

So, why would a person who is chronically unhappy with how they look and is supposedly dieting in order to be happier with how they look keep bringing the very foods they are purportedly eschewing to be in their line of sight all day every day?

Please help me understand the thinking behind this, as my male co-workers are all stumped, and we are afraid to ask my female co-workers for fear of being being stabbed to death with a stray pencil.

[Deleted User 104]

Serious question about the female mind:

At every place I have ever worked, the women in the office are constantly complaining about their weight and are always telling everyone that they are on a diet. Despite this fact, magically, every morning, fresh-baked muffins, homemade cookies, donuts, and bags of snack-sized candy bars appear on the tables in the break room.

I know for a fact that the men are not baking them, nor do men (typically) bring candy to share with everyone else. I know this because all of us misogynists have pondered this conundrum collectively on multiple occasions out of earshot of the females.

So, why would a person who is chronically unhappy with how they look and is supposedly dieting in order to be happier with how they look keep bringing the very foods they are purportedly eschewing to be in their line of sight all day every day?

Please help me understand the thinking behind this, as my male co-workers are all stumped, and we are afraid to ask my female co-workers for fear of being being stabbed to death with a stray pencil.

Could it be that they don't really want solutions but rather just want to complain about it? Solutions often require real effort and sometimes, sacrifice or life changes. Look around in society at random and you will find very few people really will make an effort to change things that they want to improve. For those that are the exception, they are worth having in your circle.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to have an opinion because I have a penis.

[HouseDivided]

Serious question about the female mind:

At every place I have ever worked, the women in the office are constantly complaining about their weight and are always telling everyone that they are on a diet. Despite this fact, magically, every morning, fresh-baked muffins, homemade cookies, donuts, and bags of snack-sized candy bars appear on the tables in the break room.

I know for a fact that the men are not baking them, nor do men (typically) bring candy to share with everyone else. I know this because all of us misogynists have pondered this conundrum collectively on multiple occasions out of earshot of the females.

So, why would a person who is chronically unhappy with how they look and is supposedly dieting in order to be happier with how they look keep bringing the very foods they are purportedly eschewing to be in their line of sight all day every day?

Please help me understand the thinking behind this, as my male co-workers are all stumped, and we are afraid to ask my female co-workers for fear of being being stabbed to death with a stray pencil.

Could it be that they don't really want solutions but rather just want to complain about it? Solutions often require real effort and sometimes, sacrifice or life changes. Look around in society at random and you will find very few people really will make an effort to change things that they want to improve. For those that are the exception, they are worth having in your circle.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to have an opinion because I have a penis.

I have my theories, but in the interest of avoiding mansplaining, I have opened the floor to female explanations. Still waiting.

[twocoach]

Don't you think that women, even more than you, are acutely aware of the fact that they have a limited time in which to have children?

A: Some are, but a lot are not. How do I know this? I've known of several friends who dated women who waited too late to have children and regretted it. It's heartbreaking to hear this if you care about others. A lot of women are just born to be mothers and they realize it too late.

Lots of people can't have children biologically. They often choose to adopt. So there's also that option.

A: Yes, and it's a great thing to do. However, some people do prefer to pass on their own genes and would rather raise their own offspring.

Like I said, I'm on board with not shaming women into having careers if they really want to raise children instead. But, what you're doing is dangerously close to becoming the same thing, which is, shaming women out of careers and into raising a family.

A: Not sure how you equate giving important advice to women as being "dangerous". I think it's dangerous to be uneducated on these things and find out too late that you cannot live your dream of having your own kids. I have not shamed or implied that I want to shame anyone for their decisions -- I simply want them to be aware of the trade-offs.

I think we should let women decide for themselves what they want to do in terms of career and family.

A: I never said they shouldn't have that right. But they need to be aware of the dangers and consequences of their choices.

And, let's also keep in mind that there are shitloads of women who have children/raise families and have careers. There are trad-offs, like you said, but lots of people are successful on both fronts.

A: I don't agree. Most people who are raising children and working full time are not doing a great job at raising their children. This includes men too. This is why a 2 parent home where one of them stays home for the first developmental years is so important.

Go fuck yourself with this "most people raising children and working full time are not doing a great job raising their kids" nonsense. You have no clue what "most" people are doing. Dont pretend that the 10 couples you know that have kids are an accurate subsection of the parenting population of this country.

The vast majority of parents that we deal with via our kids are parents where both parents work and the vast majority of us have healthy, active kids who are achieving at a high rate. Maybe you just have loser friends.

[chiknbut]

Serious question about the female mind:

At every place I have ever worked, the women in the office are constantly complaining about their weight and are always telling everyone that they are on a diet. Despite this fact, magically, every morning, fresh-baked muffins, homemade cookies, donuts, and bags of snack-sized candy bars appear on the tables in the break room.

I know for a fact that the men are not baking them, nor do men (typically) bring candy to share with everyone else. I know this because all of us misogynists have pondered this conundrum collectively on multiple occasions out of earshot of the females.

So, why would a person who is chronically unhappy with how they look and is supposedly dieting in order to be happier with how they look keep bringing the very foods they are purportedly eschewing to be in their line of sight all day every day?

Please help me understand the thinking behind this, as my male co-workers are all stumped, and we are afraid to ask my female co-workers for fear of being being stabbed to death with a stray pencil.

Could it be that they don't really want solutions but rather just want to complain about it? Solutions often require real effort and sometimes, sacrifice or life changes. Look around in society at random and you will find very few people really will make an effort to change things that they want to improve. For those that are the exception, they are worth having in your circle.

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to have an opinion because I have a penis.

Ah, to be in Lobby's circle. Sigh.

Some of us can dream.

[Deleted User 104]

Truth hurts sometimes.

[twocoach]

Truth hurts sometimes.

Please dont pass your silly theories on as "truth". It's not that at all.

[Deleted User 295]

Don't you think that women, even more than you, are acutely aware of the fact that they have a limited time in which to have children?

A: Some are, but a lot are not. How do I know this? I've known of several friends who dated women who waited too late to have children and regretted it. It's heartbreaking to hear this if you care about others. A lot of women are just born to be mothers and they realize it too late.

Lots of people can't have children biologically. They often choose to adopt. So there's also that option.

A: Yes, and it's a great thing to do. However, some people do prefer to pass on their own genes and would rather raise their own offspring.

Like I said, I'm on board with not shaming women into having careers if they really want to raise children instead. But, what you're doing is dangerously close to becoming the same thing, which is, shaming women out of careers and into raising a family.

A: Not sure how you equate giving important advice to women as being "dangerous". I think it's dangerous to be uneducated on these things and find out too late that you cannot live your dream of having your own kids. I have not shamed or implied that I want to shame anyone for their decisions -- I simply want them to be aware of the trade-offs.

I think we should let women decide for themselves what they want to do in terms of career and family.

A: I never said they shouldn't have that right. But they need to be aware of the dangers and consequences of their choices.

And, let's also keep in mind that there are shitloads of women who have children/raise families and have careers. There are trad-offs, like you said, but lots of people are successful on both fronts.

A: I don't agree. Most people who are raising children and working full time are not doing a great job at raising their children. This includes men too. This is why a 2 parent home where one of them stays home for the first developmental years is so important.

Go fuck yourself with this "most people raising children and working full time are not doing a great job raising their kids" nonsense. You have no clue what "most" people are doing. Dont pretend that the 10 couples you know that have kids are an accurate subsection of the parenting population of this country.

The vast majority of parents that we deal with via our kids are parents where both parents work and the vast majority of us have healthy, active kids who are achieving at a high rate. Maybe you just have loser friends.

Pay better attention....

The discussion was people working full time AND raising kids as SINGLE PARENTS....or at least I think it was before it started to spiral.

Before you get all defensive, try working on your reading comprehension.

I work full time. I have 2 kids. If I didn't have my wife I'd be doing a terrible job at raising my kids by myself OR (maybe AND) I'd be doing a terrible job at my job.

Kid had a snow day today. If I didn't have a wife who works more or less part time (probably close to full time hour per week wise, but doesn't work Monday until after I'm home from work or Fridays at all) I'd have been screwed today. Either taking off work or leaving a 6 and 3 year old home alone (which I'd never do).

Maybe you think you could do it all alone, but I think you're wrong. Single parents have a hard job. Parenting is alot. You know that. It takes 2, especially with multiple kids.

[chiknbut]

Truth hurts sometimes.

Please dont pass your silly theories on as "truth". It's not that at all.

I bet Lobby's digging up a relevant youtube video at this moment to back himself up.

[Deleted User 104]

I point out some facts, you respond with outrage. Point out how I'm wrong and we can have a discussion. The rise of single parent households has increased the problems of society over many decades. It is what it is. If this offends you, then that's worth asking why it offends you.

[Deleted User 104]

Don't you think that women, even more than you, are acutely aware of the fact that they have a limited time in which to have children?

A: Some are, but a lot are not. How do I know this? I've known of several friends who dated women who waited too late to have children and regretted it. It's heartbreaking to hear this if you care about others. A lot of women are just born to be mothers and they realize it too late.

Lots of people can't have children biologically. They often choose to adopt. So there's also that option.

A: Yes, and it's a great thing to do. However, some people do prefer to pass on their own genes and would rather raise their own offspring.

Like I said, I'm on board with not shaming women into having careers if they really want to raise children instead. But, what you're doing is dangerously close to becoming the same thing, which is, shaming women out of careers and into raising a family.

A: Not sure how you equate giving important advice to women as being "dangerous". I think it's dangerous to be uneducated on these things and find out too late that you cannot live your dream of having your own kids. I have not shamed or implied that I want to shame anyone for their decisions -- I simply want them to be aware of the trade-offs.

I think we should let women decide for themselves what they want to do in terms of career and family.

A: I never said they shouldn't have that right. But they need to be aware of the dangers and consequences of their choices.

And, let's also keep in mind that there are shitloads of women who have children/raise families and have careers. There are trad-offs, like you said, but lots of people are successful on both fronts.

A: I don't agree. Most people who are raising children and working full time are not doing a great job at raising their children. This includes men too. This is why a 2 parent home where one of them stays home for the first developmental years is so important.

Go fuck yourself with this "most people raising children and working full time are not doing a great job raising their kids" nonsense. You have no clue what "most" people are doing. Dont pretend that the 10 couples you know that have kids are an accurate subsection of the parenting population of this country.

The vast majority of parents that we deal with via our kids are parents where both parents work and the vast majority of us have healthy, active kids who are achieving at a high rate. Maybe you just have loser friends.

Pay better attention....

The discussion was people working full time AND raising kids as SINGLE PARENTS.

Before you get all defensive, try working on your reading comprehension.

I work full time. I have 2 kids. If I didn't have my wife I'd be doing a terrible job at raising my kids by myself OR (maybe AND) I'd be doing a terrible job at my job.

Kid had a snow day today. If I didn't have a wife who works more or less part time (probably close to full time hour per week wise, but doesn't work Monday until after I'm home from work or Fridays at all) I'd have been screwed today. Either taking off work or leaving a 6 and 3 year old home alone (which I'd never do).

Maybe you think you could do it all alone, but I think you're wrong. Single parents have a hard job. Parenting is alot. You know that. It takes 2, especially with multiple kids.

That was just another example of people unable to read and understand what I actually wrote, and a failure on them to respond with ways to show I'm wrong rather than outrage. We see this all around us in society, and on here unfortunately.