Kansas Crimson

omg, don't get chiknbut started on blow guns again.

Don't suck at blowdarts

did pdub refer to his “other” as a blow up doll?

try leaving a rubber snake out by where the birds are shitting.

or just leave the blowup doll.

TraditionKU wrote: ↑Mon May 11, 2020 10:23 am did pdub refer to his “other” as a blow up doll?

I'm a looser.

And now the birds have given up on her car ( which has about 35-40 new shits since yesterday late afternoon ) and have taken to mine.

Three shits on mine this morning.

The garage is the easy answer - but I kinda want to shoot blow darts at these birds now.

growing up we had this cardinal that kept dive bombing the living room window.

My dad was worried it would break the window, and figured the bird would eventually break its neck anyway, so he called out a hit and gave me the green light with the BB gun.

he didn't even think I could hit it. But on the very first shot, I down the thing. Fell to the ground motionless, just like that, no double tap necessary.

For a split instant I felt like a badass elite special forces hero...what I mean by that, sir, is if you was to put me and this here sniper rifle anywhere up to and including one mile from Adolf Hitler with a clean line of sight...pack your bags, fellas. War's over.

but then I felt bad.

I buried the poor thing in the back yard. I look to my dad for some sort of comforting words, but he's still all incredulous like OMG I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D ACTUALLY HIT THE THING! DON'T TELL MOM!

Sounds like a cardinal sin.

I'm still red with embarrassment.

pdub wrote: ↑Mon May 11, 2020 10:38 am

TraditionKU wrote: ↑Mon May 11, 2020 10:23 am did pdub refer to his “other” as a blow up doll?

I'm a looser.

(Nodding)

dangit, I was hoping we could get some bird puns going, but maybe that idea just won't fly today.

you just need to goose it harder

Quit robin my puns.

Goddamn chickenshits

"I got us some wood chips."
"Oh great, how much?"
"I'm not telling, you're gonna get mad."
"How much...."
".....500 dollars....."

pdub couldn't believe it.

wait, who sells wood chips to a blowup doll?

lmao

and where does a blowup doll get $500?

^^^

I thought the whole point of a blowup doll is you don't have to keep paying them.

right?