Kansas Crimson

Wild.

Contrast that with my stories of HS in the...okay, early 2000s, where cops had an entire party’s worth of kids laying on the ground in the prone position with arms and legs spread while they issued court citations for everyone in attendance.

Man, I wish cops weren’t dicks about underage drinking when I was in Lawrence.

Most weekend parties it was not if, but when, it was gonna get broken up.

My scariest cop-drinking story:

Me and 3 of my friends headed north of Lawrence, turned onto Wellman Road, and stopped off at a big bridge on the right that we used to refer to as "pissin' bridge"

It was a really cold, really wet night, and we pulled into this gravel road a few hundred yards off of the pavement.

We were basically pounding beers and tossing empties. Car was all foggy, looking suspect as hell.
Well, some headlights pull up behind us, someone is trampling through the pile of empties and the night stick jolted me as when the Deputy tapped on my window.

I roll down the window, and the cop asks (rhetorically) if these are our empty beers. Of course, one of my friends said "no sir, they were here when we got here". I immediately said no, they are ours, and we will gladly pick them up when we leave.

So the cop asks us if we have happened to see a 12-13 year old boy on a bicycle. My immediate thought is that someone ran over a kid on a bike in this bad weather, and I am going to prison.

We said no, he looked the car over real good and said have a good night and be safe.

I almost shit.

what Plano meant to say was, “yeah, sure, sir...”

But, man, wild!

I remember going to a field party in HS. It was down this dirt road at the end of a rural neighborhood, you had to know where to turn for the road.

I turn for the road, and there’s two cop cars parked there next to my buddy’s truck, and my buddy in cuffs. I was with a girl, just after cooking dinner for her, and the cops wave at me.

“You know this guy?”

No. I mean yes. I mean, I go to school with him, but don’t really hang with him or anything.

“Well were you going to hang with him tonight?”

No, actually, my traveling companion and I were just looking for somewhere to, uh, not make out.

They knew we were trying to go to a party, but without catching us red handed doing anything wrong besides just driving by, it’s not like they had us on the hook.

Apparently they took the cuffs off my buddy, and told him to hold one hand high in the air while he used the other hand to pour out the 2 cases of beer he had in the back of his truck. (RIP 60 cans of natty lite, what a waste)

I guess they then told him to keep his one hand up while they lectured him for forever about the dangers of underage drinking.

They then say that since he cooperated and poured all the beers out, they’re cutting him a break this time, he’s free to go, but just one more question...

“What’s that, sirs?”

“Why are you still standing there like a fucking idiot with your arm in the air?”

Meanwhile, the dozen or so cars already back there got word and escaped by driving through a corn field in the other direction.

But yea, that’s mostly just funny. As a whole, I’m among the very few in my class who got through high school without some kind of drinking citation.

We drank a lot and got caught a lot. Almost always the old...dump your beers and get outta here, or the. Give us your beer and get outta here. Or...can any of you drive? Yea? Ok get gone then. Then.... something changed in their policy. From 18-21: 3 MIPs in the next 3 years, and 2 drinking in public tickets and 2 open container tickets. Lucky for me those were all like $100 tickets...which sucked...bur apparently its a way bigger deal now.

actually, now I do remember one time Lawrence cops were cool.

Like 3 in the morning after a big football game and subsequently straight to house parties, big group of us stumbling back across campus carrying grocery bags full of beers, plus a keg in a wagon.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!!!”

We all stop.

“Is one of you guys 21?”

umm....yes?

Ok, just a courtesy check. Have a good night!

Phew! We were so freaked out that to calm back down we had to do keg stands right there on Jayhawk boulevard

I had several run ins with the police and my driving while drunk, somewhat intoxicated, and sober.
Miraculously never in Lawrence but then again I had a car only my Sophomore year.

I think I have shared this one before but if so, I'm sharing it again.
1984. Got pulled over for speeding on Forest Way Drive in Winnetka Illinois.
Not sure how/why but the cop saw an empty beer can in the back of the car.
It was from several nights before.
Told me to get out of the car and before he gave me a sobriety test he started to put me in cuffs.
I respectfully asked him why and told him I was not drinking let alone driving drunk.
He said I was underage and illegally transporting alcohol and/or something in regards to it being an open container of alcohol. WTF?
I'm not a smart guy but I said a wise thing. I told him it was EMPTY so there was no alcohol (true) and I told him my father makes me recycle and it was his that he had put in a bag that I brought to the recycle center and it must have fallen out (lie).
He didn't like that and put me in the cuffs and arrested me. Again, WTF?
My attorney told me the story that I told the cop was a pretty good one but that I shouldn't lie to the Judge because if he knows I'm lying he's not going to be happy with me and it could get ugly.
Judge - "NOT GUILTY" but then rightfully briefly lectured me about drinking and driving and open containers of alcohol in a car.
I don't recall the exact amount I had to pay the attorney but I do recall my mother and father being pissed off and then telling me it would be the most expensive beer I will ever had. They were right.

I made it through college without a MIP or DUI but had several interactions with police where I coulda.

Kicked out of Royals and KC Wizards games for underage drinking. Pulled over a couple times under 21 and been drinking. Dorm parties busted. House parties busted.

Looking back Lawrence cops were pretty chill.

Hijack....

Feel that pdubs KU Hoops trivia questions are fantastic so I have decided to have a weekly random trivia question.
Today I am actually going to do two.

This one may be all but impossible.
If someone can give me the correct answer I will buy and send the first person who answers it correctly a KU Basketball t-shirt valued at $40 or less that you can pick out AND send you a Bill Self autographed piece of the Fieldhouse floor if you can tell me what these two guys have in common....






This one is much easier (but still not easy) and I will send the first person who answers it correctly a Brannen Greene game/practice used item - if they want it.

In 1984 I saw R.E.M. perform in Hoch Auditorium.
In 1985 there was a "famous" person who had a controversial "performance" in Hoch Auditorium.
Who was it?

Coulda got busted one time in the dorms.

My RA was this uptight Catholic chick, and a big reason why I was so caught up in church shit instead of fingerblasting my way through freshman year like a normal adult.

She was also dating this other dude on the floor, and apparently an RA dating a resident is a big no-no.

So we’re down on the girl’s end of the floor doing shots of some shitty liquor that only freshmen would drink. Apparently we’re loud, cuz the RA knocks. Just like we recited, we have all contraband hidden within 8 seconds of the knock.

We open the door and there’s a bunch of us just awkwardly chilling. She asks what we’re up do. Just chilling! No trouble, but she’s onto us.

Later that night, I walk back to my dorm, and the RA is waiting in the common area. She runs up to give me a “hug” (read: smell my breath)

I hug her. She sits back down then just starts crying. Her boyfriend comforts her, escorts her into her room, and closes the door - at like 1 in the morning. To I guess pray rosaries or some shit cuz it’s not like they were cool enough to do anything not Catholic about it.

In hindsight, I wish she had done her job and just written me up or whatever, cuz that was such bullshit. You’re fucking crying?! Grow up.

I almost wish I had gone and reported the illicit relationship between the RA and the resident, cuz it also created the very problems that are the reason for prohibiting RA/resident relationships, but I ain’t no snitch.

I guess my point is, underage drinking prohibition is dumb.

And gutter - good hijack! But your trivia better have its own thread by next week, cuz by that point it’ll no longer be random

MJ23 wrote: ↑Sat May 29, 2021 9:45 am Hijack....

Feel that pdubs KU Hoops trivia questions are fantastic so I have decided to have a weekly random trivia question.
Today I am actually going to do two.

This one may be all but impossible.
If someone can give me the correct answer I will buy and send the first person who answers it correctly a KU Basketball t-shirt valued at $40 or less that you can pick out AND send you a Bill Self autographed piece of the Fieldhouse floor if you can tell me what these two guys have in common....






This one is much easier (but still not easy) and I will send the first person who answers it correctly a Brannen Greene game/practice used item - if they want it.

In 1984 I saw R.E.M. perform in Hoch Auditorium.
In 1985 there was a "famous" person who had a controversial "performance" in Hoch Auditorium.
Who was it?

Louis Farrakhan.

ousdahl wrote: ↑Sat May 29, 2021 9:48 am Coulda got busted one time in the dorms.

My RA was this uptight Catholic chick, and a big reason why I was so caught up in church shit instead of fingerblasting my way through freshman year like a normal adult.

She was also dating this other dude on the floor, and apparently an RA dating a resident is a big no-no.

So we’re down on the girl’s end of the floor doing shots of some shitty liquor that only freshmen would drink. Apparently we’re loud, cuz the RA knocks. Just like we recited, we have all contraband hidden within 8 seconds of the knock.

We open the door and there’s a bunch of us just awkwardly chilling. She asks what we’re up do. Just chilling! No trouble, but she’s onto us.

Later that night, I walk back to my dorm, and the RA is waiting in the common area. She runs up to give me a “hug” (read: smell my breath)

I hug her. She sits back down then just starts crying. Her boyfriend comforts her, escorts her into her room, and closes the door - at like 1 in the morning. To I guess pray rosaries or some shit cuz it’s not like they were cool enough to do anything not Catholic about it.

In hindsight, I wish she had done her job and just written me up or whatever, cuz that was such bullshit. You’re fucking crying?! Grow up.

I almost wish I had gone and reported the illicit relationship between the RA and the resident, cuz it also created the very problems that are the reason for prohibiting RA/resident relationships, but I ain’t no snitch.

I guess my point is, underage drinking prohibition is dumb.

Dunno if my RA was catholic but everything else checks out including the hug technique, dating a resident and crying when I got busted for booze and weed.

3rd floor Templin?!

Were you that weird 4th roommate who always douched himself with axe body spray before leaving every day?

And man, I wish I wasn’t such a sheep about being Catholic back then, cuz in hindsight it would have been fun to approach it with a more open mind.

No RA, your stupid guilt trip to get me to come to church is nothing more than that, just a stupid guilt trip.

You ever wonder why, if you really stop and think about it, none of this Catholic shit adds up? That’s not the devil tempting you, that’s just common sense!

And no, it’s not a matter of “just having faith,” it’s a matter of you drinking the koolaid. The church ended up becoming precisely the corrupt heirarchical religion Jesus stood up against, try reading the goddamn gospels for once.

Looks like I'm gone B a grandpa again. Congrats 99.

Oh that’s fun!

Congrats 99, indeed.

What do you call a grand kid, anyway? 33?

HOLYSHIT yes third floor Templin!!!!
I was on the last door on the guys side, right by the fire escape.

Was your RA shorter with kinda scraggly black hair and large boobs? And dated a very feminiate larger dude who we were all pretty sure was closeted?

And also, I did have a roommate who doused himself in axe. And another two who didnt drink.

Well, 3 among our room were 3 doods who went to HS together in Olathe. One dropped out, one eventually stopped talking to me cuz I fingerblasted some chick he liked, and one was me.

The last would have been the 21yo army vet with Afghanistan/Iraq stories almost as fucked up as the smell of his body spray, but at least he was old enough to buy booze. (He killed at least 3 men! He felt bad, but still wanted to tell you all about it!)

And we all drank. Except for me when I was occasionally on one of my Catholic guilt trips.

We all smoked too, but never in the dorm. We’d go down to the parking lot and hot box one roomie’s ‘92 Chevy blazer, aptly named.

And there was no effing way you wouldn’t have known the RA was Catholic, cuz she was obnoxious about that shit. Like walk up and down the hall knocking on doors on Sunday morning reminding us to go to church and shit.

sooo I’m guessing you lived there before me. Woulda been 04-05.

What room were you though? I think we were 315