Kansas Crimson

Pre smart phone days, I worked for a large midwestern telecom company. We could get 3 or 4 free phones per year. My daughter went through all of them. Lost, stolen, run through the laundry, drove off with it on top of her car... etc.

They quit doing that when they found a bunch of them on ebay.

twocoach wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:12 am

BasketballJayhawk wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:37 am

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:00 am Do kids text their dads things these days instead of just talkin' to em?
Not judging, just getting prepared to be bummed from getting a text instead of a face to face chat.

Yes.

We just got my 9yr old her first phone. Last night she texted me from the other room.

Definitely annoyed me. LOL

Based on my 9 year old's ability to lose nearly everything, I will not be getting my 9 year old a phone for several more years.

I was hesitant for sure.

But as a girl who is now at the age where she spends the night at her friend's houses with relative frequency I just feel way more comfortable with her being able to call/text one of us if she needs something or is in an uncomfortable situation.

Highly unlikely she will ever need it for those reasons and it'll mostly get used to text/facetime her friends, but seemed like the best choice for us.

She turns it in at night and we don't let her take it to school yet. She is a responsible 9yr old, well relatively speaking. So losing it or breaking it isn't a big concern for me.

We also have a phone active for my 6yr old, but he won't get it for another year or 2. He is a Tasmanian devil and will break or lose or abuse it. But to add 2 lines it somehow made our package go down more than adding 1 line (don't ask me how), so we went ahead and got it so he has a #/phone when/if he is ever ready.

Which based on his historical behavioral trends will not be for another decade.

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 10:47 am It's a while from now but at the moment, I sure ain't giving a phone to a 9 year old.

You say that, but you may find that the peace of mind that comes from knowing they can reach you, and knowing where they are, outweighs your (very very good!) reasons for resistance.

Talking to the wrong guy there who has been a ghost on social media since 2011-12, didn’t have a smart phone until three years ago and only hesitantly, bc it came with the cheap plan, got data for his phone.

I didn’t have a phone growing up and was able to contact my rents if needed.

I already cutting off my phone time in place of reading to set an example.

Phones suck.

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:51 am Talking to the wrong guy there who has been a ghost on social media since 2011-12, didn’t have a smart phone until three years ago and only hesitantly, bc it came with the cheap plan, got data for his phone.

I didn’t have a phone growing up and was able to contact my rents if needed.

Whatever works for you. Just saying that the best battle plans don't survive first contact with the enemy.

If my daughter was ever in a situation and couldn't get ahold of me I would never forgive myself.

We will do our best to limit the negatives that come with giving a 9yr old a phone. The positives far outweigh the negatives, as long as the rules are followed (by her).

jfish26 wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:52 am

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:51 am Talking to the wrong guy there who has been a ghost on social media since 2011-12, didn’t have a smart phone until three years ago and only hesitantly, bc it came with the cheap plan, got data for his phone.

I didn’t have a phone growing up and was able to contact my rents if needed.

Whatever works for you. Just saying that the best battle plans don't survive first contact with the enemy.

^^^

“Logistics eat strategy for lunch.”

Admiral James Stavridis

I just found this thread and the episode you just went thru jfish. I was impressed with the list of issues you wanted to communicate a couple of pages back. Happy for both you and your son how it turned out.

As parents, when it comes to kids, you can load the trucks, but you can't drive them.

jfish26 wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 9:42 am Had the talk with the boy last night. He just texted me this:

Hey sorry for not asking you beforehand but I sent [coach that cut me] this last night: Hey coach, this is fish. I respect the decision you and your staff have made and honestly thank you for the wake-up call that I needed. I will take this as a sign to improve myself, my training, and my effort on or off the field while continuing my [sport]. I hope that I will get to interact with your program as much as I can in the future as I work towards my own personal goals.

Proud dad here.

Holy shit. What a proud moment. That's some strong parenting and some strong resiliency from the guppy.

The omission of said [sport] makes me think it's like ballet dancing or chess.
"Not that anything is wrong with that." - Jerry Seinfeld.

i have kids. i have grandkids. there is no reason for a 9 year old to have a phone.

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:27 pm The omission of said [sport] makes me think it's like ballet dancing or chess.
"Not that anything is wrong with that." - Jerry Seinfeld.

Musical theater is very important to the Fish family, as you know.

BasketballJayhawk wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 11:57 am If my daughter was ever in a situation and couldn't get ahold of me I would never forgive myself.

We will do our best to limit the negatives that come with giving a 9yr old a phone. The positives far outweigh the negatives, as long as the rules are followed (by her).

Was out to dinner with the "ex". We had dropped her daughter and her daughter's friend off at a birthday party. Went to pick up the kids after dinner. Daughter and her friend were crying hysterically.
Said they had tried to call "us" several times when we were at dinner. I checked my phone, yep. They tried to call ME. Not her mother. I never heard the phone because it was in my jacket pocket and we were in a loud restaurant.
I figured if she needed something she would have called her mother - not ME.
Between the daughter saying she thought we (her mother and I) were dead because I didn't answer my phone) and her mother screaming at me for not answering my phone when the daughter called - I took my phone and smashed it on the ground in frustration.
An hour later I said to the both of them, "I wish I never had a phone and if I didn't - this never would have happened".

Break up with her.

jfish26 wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 2:41 pm

pdub wrote: ↑Wed Feb 22, 2023 1:27 pm The omission of said [sport] makes me think it's like ballet dancing or chess.
"Not that anything is wrong with that." - Jerry Seinfeld.

Musical theater is very important to the Fish family, as you know.

I hope he can recover and you can see him in Wicked on Broadway instead of watching Bill Self win his fourth national championship.

For all the resilient examples, many kids are very vulnerable to being told that they were right all along from a smartphone-fueled echo chamber of peers who refute parental boundaries, logic and rules. We all suck as Karl Jung reminds us.

Sparko wrote: ↑Thu Feb 23, 2023 12:40 pm For all the resilient examples, many kids are very vulnerable to being told that they were right all along from a smartphone-fueled echo chamber of peers who refute parental boundaries, logic and rules. We all suck as Karl Jung reminds us.

Scott Drew most of all.

The coach’s response to my son:

Fish, what an amazing text. That’s how I know you’re going to come out of this on top and be that next [high school team varsity] starter. Of course you can still earn that spot [with this team] back! My advice is [substantive sports advice…] [Then,] your game will go from where it is to the next level. I love ya fish, and this is nowhere near the end of your career and judging by your text, this is only the beginning of a new chapter!

gotta make you proud

jfish26 wrote: ↑Fri Feb 24, 2023 1:54 pm The coach’s response to my son:

Fish, what an amazing text. That’s how I know you’re going to come out of this on top and be that next [high school team varsity] starter. Of course you can still earn that spot [with this team] back! My advice is [substantive sports advice…] [Then,] your game will go from where it is to the next level. I love ya fish, and this is nowhere near the end of your career and judging by your text, this is only the beginning of a new chapter!

Baller moves by both the guppy and the coach.

That is what it is about. Listen to dad. Sometimes at least