Totally random thread

[jhawks99]

Hit a local sports bar after a really hard day with mom. Nice bartender, young, pretty easy to talk to. Order a beer and a sammich.

Drunk dude sits down next to me and starts mumbling incoherently. I do understand something about he graduated in 1986. It was the best music; foreigner, Boston, journey etc. His dad told him he would never amount to anything if he didn't go to college, "AND HE WAS SO RIGHT!"

Then tells me he picked up two homeless chick's last weekend. Left them alone in his basement while he went ti the licker store to get more booze, "Cuz I love a woman who drinks."

99, "Check, please"

[Shirley]

Sorry about your Mother, 99.

Mine is 95 and I had to put her in memory care in December.

She told me in November, "I guess the lesson is, die young."

smh

[jhawks99]

Thanks, mom lives with my brother so she gets to stay at home. Hoping for the best for your mom.

[pdub]

Totally random thread has become totally depressing thread.

[japhy]

I spent the weekend visiting with my mom in St Louis. She has been in a facility there for 2 years and recently got moved to the dreaded "memory care floor". One of my sisters lives a couple of miles away so it is a good set up for everyone.

Last weekend the oldest sister of three, had her youngest son get married. All three sisters were in FL for the weekend so I drive over from KC to keep mom company. I don't doo FL. Mom usually thinks I am her brother and sometimes a cousin. To keep her from going on a melancholy jag I make up fantastical life stories for her. She was complaining about being locked on the memory floor.

"Why do they lock all of the doors so I can't go outside?"

"Well.....there was that time you ran away and joined the circus."

"What? Did I really? "

"Yes, you joined the circus and were a lion tamer."

"Oh! That was fun! "

"Yeah you had all kinds of adventures traveling the country."

"How did you find me?" A relatively lucid question for a woman who has no recollection of being in the circus.

"Your son in law found you. This was the one time his gambling problem worked out to be a good thing. He was in Vegas at Circus Circus and there you were on the trapeze, flying over the craps tables. After he finished gambling away his kid's college fund he brought you back to St Louis."

"That's good, I'm too old for that stuff now, it's dangerous."

My controlling oldest sister started texting me the day before I got to St Louis asking "when I would get there?". Then on the drive, "are you there yet?" ..." What are you planning to do with mom?"..."are you taking her to church?"

As the shitty older brother I ignore these requests for information, they lead to alternative suggestions and then unpleasantness. My sister has a wedding to control and a bachelor party to control and rehearsal dinner to control and two sisters and a husband and kids to control. She doesn't need to fuck around with my visit with mom.

The first response she gets from me is the next day. It is just a text that contains a video. It was sent to the rest of my siblings and the grandkids. My mom is standing looking at me. I tell her, "hey, let's go over to your son in law's house and drink all his beer." She puts two thumbs up and says "Fuck, Yes!" With a big grin on her face. I get a text back from one sister it just says "LOL" and from one granddaughter who says "go Nana!"

The next video was a few hours later, a solemn looking 85 year old woman is sitting at the counter in my sister's house; she says "Party on bitches" and then hoists a Bud tall boy and pretends to chug and slams it on the counter. The only response is from my daughters, "Nana looks like she is having a crazy weekend".

The next morning another Nana video drops, she is wearing a baseball cap from the graffiti/rap artists Hieroglyphics Crew and staring into the camera. All she says is, "what choo lookin at!". It has the heading, "She sassy".

Later the last video comes out. In it my mom is walking away from the facility on the sidewalk. You can hear me say in the background, "there she goes, running away to join the circus again".

When we have her memorial service some day I will get these videos out and play them. In the meantime her 20 something grandkids think Nana is a legend and Nana likes that. My controlling sister; no clue, she has yet to respond to any of my video texts. My youngest sister aka "Drudgery Daughter" now refers to me was "Circus Son". Mom was just so happy to have her brother come visit because she always has so much fun when he is in town.

Much of mom's day is spent reliving past traumas and wondering where she is and when someone will come get her and take her home. She can't remember my name or my sisters, but she can remember in great detail horrible things that happened to her as a 3 year old kid. Comic relief is the one way I can break her out of the "mental loops" she gets stuck in.

[TDub]

I'm sidestepping out of the current spiral in this thread...temporarily.

Anyway...made the long trip to Long Creek this weekend (really really pretty drive...other than damn near going off into the canyon thanks to ice and snow....) to look at a couple pigs and a couple calves.

Anyway...long story short...I now have neither.....but I did end up with 2 Flemish Giant rabbit. The kids were very excited when I got home.....jury still out of the level of excitement of the bunnies......

[jhawks99]

Are you chickens still disappearing?

[Sparko]

I spent the weekend visiting with my mom in St Louis. She has been in a facility there for 2 years and recently got moved to the dreaded "memory care floor". One of my sisters lives a couple of miles away so it is a good set up for everyone.

Last weekend the oldest sister of three, had her youngest son get married. All three sisters were in FL for the weekend so I drive over from KC to keep mom company. I don't doo FL. Mom usually thinks I am her brother and sometimes a cousin. To keep her from going on a melancholy jag I make up fantastical life stories for her. She was complaining about being locked on the memory floor.

"Why do they lock all of the doors so I can't go outside?"

"Well.....there was that time you ran away and joined the circus."

"What? Did I really? "

"Yes, you joined the circus and were a lion tamer."

"Oh! That was fun! "

"Yeah you had all kinds of adventures traveling the country."

"How did you find me?" A relatively lucid question for a woman who has no recollection of being in the circus.

"Your son in law found you. This was the one time his gambling problem worked out to be a good thing. He was in Vegas at Circus Circus and there you were on the trapeze, flying over the craps tables. After he finished gambling away his kid's college fund he brought you back to St Louis."

"That's good, I'm too old for that stuff now, it's dangerous."

My controlling oldest sister started texting me the day before I got to St Louis asking "when I would get there?". Then on the drive, "are you there yet?" ..." What are you planning to do with mom?"..."are you taking her to church?"

As the shitty older brother I ignore these requests for information, they lead to alternative suggestions and then unpleasantness. My sister has a wedding to control and a bachelor party to control and rehearsal dinner to control and two sisters and a husband and kids to control. She doesn't need to fuck around with my visit with mom.

The first response she gets from me is the next day. It is just a text that contains a video. It was sent to the rest of my siblings and the grandkids. My mom is standing looking at me. I tell her, "hey, let's go over to your son in law's house and drink all his beer." She puts two thumbs up and says "Fuck, Yes!" With a big grin on her face. I get a text back from one sister it just says "LOL" and from one granddaughter who says "go Nana!"

The next video was a few hours later, a solemn looking 85 year old woman is sitting at the counter in my sister's house; she says "Party on bitches" and then hoists a Bud tall boy and pretends to chug and slams it on the counter. The only response is from my daughters, "Nana looks like she is having a crazy weekend".

The next morning another Nana video drops, she is wearing a baseball cap from the graffiti/rap artists Hieroglyphics Crew and staring into the camera. All she says is, "what choo lookin at!". It has the heading, "She sassy".

Later the last video comes out. In it my mom is walking away from the facility on the sidewalk. You can hear me say in the background, "there she goes, running away to join the circus again".

When we have her memorial service some day I will get these videos out and play them. In the meantime her 20 something grandkids think Nana is a legend and Nana likes that. My controlling sister; no clue, she has yet to respond to any of my video texts. My youngest sister aka "Drudgery Daughter" now refers to me was "Circus Son". Mom was just so happy to have her brother come visit because she always has so much fun when he is in town.

Much of mom's day is spent reliving past traumas and wondering where she is and when someone will come get her and take her home. She can't remember my name or my sisters, but she can remember in great detail horrible things that happened to her as a 3 year old kid. Comic relief is the one way I can break her out of the "mental loops" she gets stuck in.

A lot of Sparko in that story. Loved it.

[TDub]

Are you chickens still disappearing?

not lately. thankfully

[DCHawk1]

From the moment he went in to memory care, my father-in-law believed that he was back in Vietnam. I suppose that was a side-effect of the dementia being combined with PTSD. Everyone in the place and everyone who visited was military of some type or another, save two people: the Asian-American nurse (who was, of course, VC and, as such the only person I ever saw this sweet, little, old man yell at) and my youngest son, whom, for whatever reason, he always recognized (and called by the correct nickname).

Fortunately, Vietnam was more tolerable the second time around. The food was better. His brother's unit was stationed nearby. And his sister ran a concession stand up on the 2nd floor. Occasionally, he'd call Creamcheese by her mother's name and yell at her, wanting to know who was watching the kids. Occasionally, he'd call my oldest daughter "Creamcheese" and yell at her that she had no business joining the army. And occasionally, he's ask me if I was done with flight training yet and able to fly solo missions.

Mostly, though, he was just glad we got leave and could come see him.

Also, you never saw an old guy who needed a hip replacement move so fast as he did to take cover whenever any of the other residents dropped their lunch tray.

[DrPepper]

I loved your story, Japhy. Those are good boundaries with your controlling sister.

TDub, do the kids know that Flemish Giants are the eating kind?

My mother passed away four years ago. I’ve been thinking about how much should would have enjoyed KSU’s bball season. She always cheered for the underdog, so naturally was a wildcat fan. She graduated from Emporia.

[TDub]

I loved your story, Japhy. Those are good boundaries with your controlling sister.

TDub, do the kids know that Flemish Giants are the eating kind?

My mother passed away four years ago. I’ve been thinking about how much should would have enjoyed KSU’s bball season. She always cheered for the underdog, so naturally was a wildcat fan. She graduated from Emporia.

they don't.....but we won't eat these, just pets.

I will be getting rabbits for consumption at some point in the future though. They are fast breeding, cheap, easy to keep, easy to process......and delicious.

[japhy]

I loved your story, Japhy. Those are good boundaries with your controlling sister.

TDub, do the kids know that Flemish Giants are the eating kind?

My mother passed away four years ago. I’ve been thinking about how much should would have enjoyed KSU’s bball season. She always cheered for the underdog, so naturally was a wildcat fan. She graduated from Emporia.

they don't.....but we won't eat these, just pets.

I will be getting rabbits for consumption at some point in the future though. They are fast breeding, cheap, easy to keep, easy to process......and delicious.

We have a neighbor, Barna, he is Czech/Bohemian. We bonded over our family background. His rabies multiply so fast he gives them away, dressed and frozen. I cook them in a crockpot in a mix of chicken broth and sherry. I usually slice up pears and put them in the broth. Afterwards I make a cream sauce out of the broth, dice up the rabbit and pour it over spaetzle.

[TDub]

I loved your story, Japhy. Those are good boundaries with your controlling sister.

TDub, do the kids know that Flemish Giants are the eating kind?

My mother passed away four years ago. I’ve been thinking about how much should would have enjoyed KSU’s bball season. She always cheered for the underdog, so naturally was a wildcat fan. She graduated from Emporia.

they don't.....but we won't eat these, just pets.

I will be getting rabbits for consumption at some point in the future though. They are fast breeding, cheap, easy to keep, easy to process......and delicious.

We have a neighbor, Barna, he is Czech/Bohemian. We bonded over our family background. His rabies multiply so fast he gives them away, dressed and frozen. I cook them in a crockpot in a mix of chicken broth and sherry. I usually slice up pears and put them in the broth. Afterwards I make a cream sauce out of the broth, dice up the rabbit and pour it over spaetzle.

sounds delicious. I like them grilled...though you must be watchful, they are lean and dry out fast. Ive also made some sort of honey Dijon glaze roasted dish. It was good....but, a lot of work for something so simple.


Ive eaten rabbits plenty....my wife hasn't. I'm working on her to get used to the idea that just maybe they taste ok....and they aren't just fluffy cartoons....

They are so easy to breed. And so so easy to process....you can process like 5 rabbits to 1 chicken. Snap and ring the legs , peel like a sock, gut, and leave it or quarter it. Done.

[japhy]

We are in the process of updating our wills and trust to take into account our property. I have two daughters and they are both adults now so the wills do not need to take into account their education and or have a trustee ( the trustee was Leawood and he gone so that won't work anyway ) manage the money until the girls are 21.

One of the things that has come up twice while talking to wealth management folks about the trust is the idea of long term healthcare planning. So what if I turn into my mom or my dad in 15 years and need to be put in a home? My dad died of cancer before his dementia got unmanageable, he lived to 79. My mom is now 85 and still physically in relatively good shape but mentally needs constant supervision.

I tell the wealth management folks I don't need long term care money. They explain politely that "you don't think so now but it's expensive and can drain money quickly and Annie is 10 years younger than you...". I explain to them that Colorado is a "death with dignity" State. When I get to the point of needing long term care I will just step off this ride and move on to the next. I take it that is something they don't hear very often cuz they usually get quiet and just stare at me and then we move on.

Having watched the process of dementia in grandparents and parents, I decided several years ago, that shit ain't for me. When my dog's existence got too miserable a few years back we did the humane thing and put him out of his misery. But in people, we mostly require them to suffer to the bitterly extended "end". You could argue that it is a financial thing, there is big money made in end of life care. Or it is a religious thing, we can't play God, blah, blah, blah. In my mind it is an ethical thing; preservation of resources and an extension of life beyond the natural limits. The details of how it will go down are a matter of debate right now but like wills and trusts it all needs to be worked out while still of sound mind and body.

Annie being a business oriented girl, looked into getting one of these Sarco pods and is looking into the logistics of composting human remains. She thinks she can compost bodies and it would be more enviromentally friendly than cremation. We have "natural burial cemeteries" and "funeral pyres" in the Empire. Adding "composting" seems like the next logical step. At this point we do not see extending this into "Soylent green", but never say never.

https://www.newsweek.com/sarco-assisted ... nd-1656947

https://townofcrestone.colorado.gov/crestone-cemetery

https://crestoneendoflifeproject.org/se ... tion-site/

[KUTradition]

there was story i heard on the radio recently about liquid composting/cremation…more expensive, but also with a relatively minuscule carbon footprint

alkaline hydrolysis is the process

the yield is also able to be used as fertilizer, and apparently is beneficial to sewage plants if it is desposed of in that way

[ousdahl]

my grandma's nursing home care was billed at a rate of $9k/month.

That was several years ago too. Who knows how much it would be now.

[Shirley]

my grandma's nursing home care was billed at a rate of $9k/month.

That was several years ago too. Who knows how much it would be now.

The cost varies quite a bit from area to area, the level of care a person needs, whether they have a private or semiprivate room, and what's included in the price like meals, diapers, etc. My impression is that a lot of incidentals are ala carte where if you don't provide it, they will and charge you for it.

My experience in KC and looking into care in Florida and SLC, the costs were pretty similar.
Assisted living ~ $4,000 - $6,000/month.
Skilled nursing ~ semiprivate room ~ $6,000-$9,000/month.
Skilled nursing private room ~ $11,000/month.

And, Medicare does not cover long-term nursing home care.

A few months ago a geriatrician I met in KC who teaches at the North Carolina School of Medicine told me that in her area, it can cost close to $200,000/year, but that sounded fantastical to me.

[ousdahl]

sooo


Has anyone ever made a t-shirt quilt before?

[Shirley]

sooo


Has anyone ever made a t-shirt quilt before?

Getting in touch with your domestic inner self?