Professionalism part deux

[ousdahl]

Did you refuse to turn your AC on for your date too, or is that more a CnB move?

[CrimsonNBlue]

Maybe it's age, or naivete, but I never got stressed much by being poor. I could always pay rent, and, though it sucked, when you'd run out of money and decide whether you wanted Taco Tuesday tonight and go hungry tomorrow, or go buy 3 packs of ramen so you had something to eat for the next two days before you get paid again. But it was more of a game than a stresser for me.

Weirdly, I get more stressed about deciding whether I should pay off student loans more quickly, or put more money into retirement -type of issues than not having money.

The REAL shitty part of being poor was trying to date. That was fucking awful. Taking a girl to Arby's after a movie cause it's all you could afford was pretty fucking terrible.

There was about a 2-year period where I was can't pay my rent poor. Food stamp/welfare qualification poor (but didn't do it b/c of stigma). Was still somehow better off than my parents clawing for as many hours as possible. That shit was stressful, don't wish it on anyone, and glad I only had myself to care of. But, maybe so stressful that you learn to ignore it. It sure caused stress later in life--credit, bad term loans, debt, paying past due shit, etc. I'd rather have the current career stressers.

I'll tell you what really pisses me off though, is when I see, for example, people our age talking down to people just starting in the work force about "the real world" and "responsibilities" and how some day, you'll know.

I have had continuous employment since I was 16. I paid for every car, I always paid my own rent, bills, etc. I had a few things done for me, I wasn't an orphan, but I learned pretty young that you have to pay your bills on time and prioritize your money, etc. It's actually a lot easier to balance a checkbook now than it was when I was half my age. So, I hate it when people assume that 20-somethings are getting shit paid for by mommy and daddy (even though some are).

I've had a couple colleagues let me know (I think they were well intentioned but unaware of my background) that "a lot of students have to have jobs on the side to pay tuition and rent" as though it would be surprising to me. Having mom and dad pay for college is the concept that is foreign.

I am not sure when it started but in my childhood I grew up knowing that I'd have to find a way to pay for college. Then at some point in adulthood it was, "you need to make enough money so you can start saving to pay for your kids' secondary education." Not sure how Gen X/Gen Y kind of got the short end on both of those deals.

But if it is/was a comment on the outrageous inflation of the cost of education--a whole other long convo.

[PhDhawk]

Did you refuse to turn your AC on for your date too, or is that more a CnB move?

Ha!

I had a Mazda 626 that used to leak water into the floor of the front passenger seat when I would run the A/C. That was the car I had when I started dating my now wife. She used to just lift her feet up and on the seat, I kept her cool. One of the reasons I knew she was the one.

Bonus though on Mazda's was that they had oscillating vents. I mean, that was like having spinning rims before spinning rims were a thing.

[TDub]

There was about a 2-year period where I was can't pay my rent poor. Food stamp/welfare qualification poor (but didn't do it b/c of stigma). Was still somehow better off than my parents clawing for as many hours as possible. That shit was stressful, don't wish it on anyone, and glad I only had myself to care of. But, maybe so stressful that you learn to ignore it. It sure caused stress later in life--credit, bad term loans, debt, paying past due shit, etc. I'd rather have the current career stressers.

I was "is my debit card going to go through" poor for a substantial period of time, also. It changes how you go about money later in life, for sure. I'm risk-averse and content with "very good." I might have a greater drive for f-you money (and the greater risk tolerance that requires) if I hadn't been on the bottom.

Yes, very risk averse now. Hanging out a shingle is something I can't even fathom.

Also turned me into "dad mode" for what is seemingly cherry picked things: "No A/C until Date X!"

I remember multiple times paying all my bills and being 4 or 500 dollsrs short still. Hustling side work until i made that up then having $35 for food and whatever other miscellaneous expenses for the rest of the month. A lot of Ramen. Yea, Ive been in "Dad" mode when it comes to being stingy for a long while. Even as things are more comfortable, I have a hard time shaking it. My wife gets frustrated at times because if I can do it myself i refuse to pay someone else to do it.....which, at times, results in a waiting period until free time opens up to do it.

[Overlander]

I was "is my debit card going to go through" poor for a substantial period of time, also. It changes how you go about money later in life, for sure. I'm risk-averse and content with "very good." I might have a greater drive for f-you money (and the greater risk tolerance that requires) if I hadn't been on the bottom.

Yes, very risk averse now. Hanging out a shingle is something I can't even fathom.

Also turned me into "dad mode" for what is seemingly cherry picked things: "No A/C until Date X!"

I remember multiple times paying all my bills and being 4 or 500 dollsrs short still. Hustling side work until i made that up then having $35 for food and whatever other miscellaneous expenses for the rest of the month. A lot of Ramen. Yea, Ive been in "Dad" mode when it comes to being stingy for a long while. Even as things are more comfortable, I have a hard time shaking it. My wife gets frustrated at times because if I can do it myself i refuse to pay someone else to do it.....which, at times, results in a waiting period until free time opens up to do it.

I saw a t shirt that said "I said I will fix it! Reminding me every 6 months isn't going to speed the process up"

[TDub]

Yes, very risk averse now. Hanging out a shingle is something I can't even fathom.

Also turned me into "dad mode" for what is seemingly cherry picked things: "No A/C until Date X!"

I remember multiple times paying all my bills and being 4 or 500 dollsrs short still. Hustling side work until i made that up then having $35 for food and whatever other miscellaneous expenses for the rest of the month. A lot of Ramen. Yea, Ive been in "Dad" mode when it comes to being stingy for a long while. Even as things are more comfortable, I have a hard time shaking it. My wife gets frustrated at times because if I can do it myself i refuse to pay someone else to do it.....which, at times, results in a waiting period until free time opens up to do it.

I saw a t shirt that said "I said I will fix it! Reminding me every 6 months isn't going to speed the process up"

Ha....yea....been there. Usually its not a matter of motivation....its a matter of priorities with available time and what some people think is important vs what the one doing the work believes is important and more critical to the function of the house/car/etc. A delicate balance....lol

[pdub]

At times, working as assistant manager ( humble brag ) at a gas station ( with 18 pumps and still allowing people to pump BEFORE paying inside ) was more stressful than working at a NY ad agency.

Service industry respect.

[ousdahl]

And you had that story about how you’d put a taquito on the rollers for you to eat but then some customer would take it instead.

All that prep work for nothin!

[twocoach]

Yeah.


All sorts of people can be assholes in all sorts of situations.

But the whole condescending asshole “how hard can your job really be, even a high schooler can do it!” Is more unique to the service industry.

And yeah, unlike many professional positions that are working for economic opportunity, many service workers are working for economic survival.

I would classify any job that a teenager can be trained to do in a handful of training sessions to fall into the “how hard can your job really be, even a high schooler can do it!” category, whether it is in the service industry or not. That just happens to be where the majority of them are. My 18 year old is now a CNA. From the description of her days, her job is not very hard yet, either.

But then that ignores things like quality. Have you ever had really really good service at a really nice restaurant? It's quite a bit different than the carhop at Sonic.

And it reduces the totality of a job to the minimal task done. I mean, you work at a bank right? I can teach someone to add and subtract numbers in a manner of hours...but that's not ALL that you do right?

So, yeah, you can teach someone to cook fries in an shift or two, but it's not like that person can then do everything in the restaurant the next day.

That's not anything I do. We have computers to add and subtract. And it doesn't ignore quality. It reflects the fact that not many people expect to get good quality from a minimum wage position. The few that do quality work usually get quickly promoted.

And I think we all agree that not every service industry job is the same, nor are they paid the same. A good server at a good restaurant will make more on one good Saturday night shift than a burger flipper will make in a week. And I doubt that someone gets that job at the good restaurant with nothing but "burger flipper" on their resume.

[twocoach]

At times, working as assistant manager ( humble brag ) at a gas station ( with 18 pumps and still allowing people to pump BEFORE paying inside ) was more stressful than working at a NY ad agency.

Service industry respect.

Service industry work was stressful at the time mostly because I was poor and young and had never experienced what actual work stress was prior to those jobs. Some dipshit assistant manager of an Italian restaurant busting my chops over not having black socks when it was all I could do to make it to work at all was incredibly stressful at the time. If I got fired it was going to make it hard to scrounge up both rent and beer money.

Now if I get fired, my family doesn't have medical insurance and my wife and childrens lives are impacted. I would kill for the amount of stress of those days if I got to keep my present knowledge of what real stress is.

[Deleted User 863]

I wonder how much of it all comes down to some issue of classism

Poor people are rude too. Being rude isn't a classism thing.

Lord.

[pdub]

At times, working as assistant manager ( humble brag ) at a gas station ( with 18 pumps and still allowing people to pump BEFORE paying inside ) was more stressful than working at a NY ad agency.

Service industry respect.

Service industry work was stressful at the time mostly because I was poor and young and had never experienced what actual work stress was prior to those jobs. Some dipshit assistant manager of an Italian restaurant busting my chops over not having black socks when it was all I could do to make it to work at all was incredibly stressful at the time. If I got fired it was going to make it hard to scrounge up both rent and beer money.

Now if I get fired, my family doesn't have medical insurance and my wife and childrens lives are impacted. I would kill for the amount of stress of those days if I got to keep my present knowledge of what real stress is.

I meant more the day to day stress rather than the stress of being fired.

[twocoach]

Like I said, the day to day stress is also tied to inexperience and having little to compare it to in your life experience to date. My employment experience from 18-24 was washing dishes, bussing tables, being a host, waiting tables and bartending and I am sure over those years that I had many days that at the time felt very stressful.

Looking back, they really weren't stressful at all.

[pdub]

But for the people working them, which we were at one point, it is still very stressful - i.e. they have the same worries of being fired but perhaps/likely with even more consequence.

Hence why I believe the service industry can be stressful and they deserve respect.

[ousdahl]

I wonder how much of it all comes down to some issue of classism

Poor people are rude too. Being rude isn't a classism thing.

Lord.

I’d like to speak to yall’s manager about this one.

Yeah.


All sorts of people can be assholes in all sorts of situations.

But the whole condescending asshole “how hard can your job really be, even a high schooler can do it!” Is more unique to the service industry.

And yeah, unlike many professional positions that are working for economic opportunity, many service workers are working for economic survival.

[Deleted User 863]

Hence why I believe the service industry can be stressful and they deserve respect.

Agreed. In high school I worked as a host at a restaurant and also in the kitchen at that same restaurant making pizzas/salads and washing dishes. It was fun. Smoked 1 hitters at the pizza over all night by the exhaust fan. Sold weed to all the kitchen staff and bartenders/waiters. Working 2 jobs at once!

Also worked at TJMaxx for a while in HS and College and it was slightly worse due to face to face interaction with people.

[CrimsonNBlue]

Don’t see any need to try and gatekeep what types of jobs are stressful and which ones are more. It’s work and life in general—we wouldn’t do this shit, in this amount, for free.

[Deleted User 863]

Don’t see any need to try and gatekeep what types of jobs are stressful and which ones are more. It’s work and life in general—we wouldn’t do this shit, in this amount, for free.

No doubt. And people can feel stress in different ways over different scenarios.

Most stressful job i have ever had was probably working on a really nice golf course in Myrtle Beach being 1 of 3 guys in charge of hand watering greens during the summer. When greens fees are close to $200 in peak season the golfers expect pristine conditions....and when you're a golfer yourself like i am you start to love the course and really want to take care of it...so rushing around a packed course trying to sneak on greens and water hot spots was stressful (but a fun kind of stressful in a way because i cared about keeping the course nice, and my reward was seeing it and playing it nearly every day for 2 years).

[PhDhawk]

Don’t see any need to try and gatekeep what types of jobs are stressful and which ones are more. It’s work and life in general—we wouldn’t do this shit, in this amount, for free.

This.

Getting yelled at by your boss or having to hurry through a busy stretch doesn't become more or less stressful based on the uniform you wear.

[jfish26]

Don’t see any need to try and gatekeep what types of jobs are stressful and which ones are more. It’s work and life in general—we wouldn’t do this shit, in this amount, for free.

It does speak to the importance of generally being ok with what you do, though. I can't imagine working like I do, in something I hated doing.