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Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Sat Nov 04, 2023 6:45 pm
by RainbowsandUnicorns

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2023 11:33 pm
by ousdahl
I got some groceries, some peanut butter
To last a couple of days
But I ain't got no speakers, ain't got no headphones
Ain't got no records to play

Why stay in college? Why go to night school?
Gonna be different this time
Can't write a letter, can't send no postcard
I ain't got time for that now

https://www.npr.org/2023/11/06/12108612 ... -years-war

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 12:30 pm
by japhy
With the passage of Prop 122 in Colorado, a whole new quasi-legal "career" has been opened up to me. No longer do I dream of being the worst greeter ever at the Walmart on Colfax and frightening old people all day.

I am now looking at becoming a licensed psychedelic "facilitator"!

Fuck Yeah, I think Jesus wants me to do this. I already have a number of therapeutic "set and setting" packages in mind.

The San Luis Valley in Colorado is a place of great natural beauty. It is a place steeped in mystical/religious powers that have been celebrated by many cultures for thousands of years. The valley is a place of deep peace and tranquility. Now you too can become one with the absurdity of the cosmos with our All-American Trip packages!

Package 1 - Live Better, Save Money! We start the day with a hearty Breakfast at the drive thru window at Mickey D's in Alamosa. Then we go to Walmart and spend the day watching the real America, being real. We will sit in the parking lot and watch what people do with their shopping carts when they are done with them. We will visit the Radio Grill and watch them cook hotdogs on those rotating roller cooker things. We will visit the grocery section and separate the produce in each bin, ranking it from most, to least fresh. We will hang out at the widow of the TLE and watch the "associates" change oil. This promises to be a day that will make you proud to be an American. You will walk away muttering, "I DID try that in a small town!"

Package 2 - You Are What You Eat - We start the day at the Frontier Trout Ranch, first we walk around the ponds and toss pellets into the raising ponds and watching the feeding frenzy that ensues. Then the real adventure begins as your medicine kicks in. We spend the next three hours gutting and cleaning trout and packing them on ice. As the day heats up we will take a break from this and go to one of the local lettuce farms and plant lettuce in the heat of the sun. It's like hot yoga with extra bending over.

Package 3 - Jesus, I Give My Life Up to You - We start in Antonito at Cano's Castle. He organizes us into to groups and we spend the morning furthering his vision for the buildings surrounding the towers and climb up the ladders to do routine dangerous maintenance for the glory of God. In the afternoon we go to La Garita and participate in self flaggelation rituals with the Penitentes.

These are just first thoughts as I explore the possibilities of my new career path. With some time and further thought they will surely be fine tuned into something each of you will likely be interested in participating in.

Book your spot early, I anticipate a lot of interest in these offerings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufsaZSixqQs

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 12:54 pm
by TDub
I'll take package 2 please

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 2:45 pm
by pdub
I really gotta hang out with japhy in person and just let him ramble.

Just sit back in a lawn chair, drink a beer and listen to just barely on the “right” side of sanity teetering.

2025 solstice: gutter, Sparko, DC and japhy. They gotta be there.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 4:34 pm
by RainbowsandUnicorns
I'm thinking if I attend maybe I will donate myself as a human sacrifice.
Kill me first, then feed me to some animal/s. If nothing else, my death will serve a purpose by being a meal (or a snack) and I will be reincarnated as animal shit. Why not? Right?
As far a japhy's package choices. My life often seems similar to #1 only everyone else around me is on drugs - or should be if they are not.

This was how my my morning greeted me today.....
Maybe I should clarify, I am NOT the guy laying/lying on the sidewalk. I'm the guy who checked to see if he was breathing and if he was somewhat ok. As soon as I got near him, he jumped up and screamed "WE HAVE TO FIGHT THEM"!!!! Scared the living shit out me. Not literally but definitely figuratively.

Image

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 5:19 pm
by Back2Lawrence
I’m assuming he meant a plural them, and not a single them.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2023 6:44 pm
by japhy
RainbowsandUnicorns wrote: Thu Nov 09, 2023 4:34 pm I'm thinking if I attend maybe I will donate myself as a human sacrifice.
Fucking hell Gutter.....going straight to human sacrifice.

This is something completely unexpected and unforeseen; but I like where your mind is going here.

I am thinking maybe we do a metaphorical or symbolic human sacrifice first, just to see how the locals accept this sort of public display. As God's local emissary you have my blessing. There will likely be a shrine in your honor in the town square afterwards if that adds any incentive for you.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 9:02 am
by japhy
pdub wrote: Thu Nov 09, 2023 2:45 pm I really gotta hang out with japhy in person and just let him ramble.

Just sit back in a lawn chair, drink a beer and listen to just barely on the “right” side of sanity teetering.

2025 solstice: gutter, Sparko, DC and japhy. They gotta be there.
Most people never live up to the hype. I pass my days watching "Friends" reruns on cable and chewing my fingernails due to existential anxiety which makes me mostly non-verbal. But if I have your cell number we can hang on Big Blue and text each other from opposite ends of the couch while avoiding eye contact.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 9:06 am
by japhy
It comes as no surprise that when they put together a bizarre attractions road trip it runs right down the middle of the Empire. And three stops are in the valley. Some of you who came to Crimson Fest will recognize the stop in Antonito.

https://denvergazette.com/outtherecolor ... 38b07.html

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 10:09 am
by Overlander
japhy wrote: Fri Nov 10, 2023 9:02 am
pdub wrote: Thu Nov 09, 2023 2:45 pm I really gotta hang out with japhy in person and just let him ramble.

Just sit back in a lawn chair, drink a beer and listen to just barely on the “right” side of sanity teetering.

2025 solstice: gutter, Sparko, DC and japhy. They gotta be there.
But if I have your cell number we can hang on Big Blue and text each other from opposite ends of the couch while avoiding eye contact.
Big Blue literally IS that big.

In the absence of cell phones, I suggest a bull horn.

Or, as a last resort, intermediaries spaced 4-5 feet apart to relay messages from one end to the other. Of course, the message may or may not maintain its original form by the end.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 11:05 am
by japhy
TDub wrote: Thu Nov 09, 2023 12:54 pm I'll take package 2 please
I commend your choice, this will not appeal to everyone, but I think it will be a very rewarding journey.

There is a thing about repetitive physical labor. At first try a task will seem awkward. In a few repetitions you start to develop an efficiency of motion that creates an unconscious rhythm. At that point you transcend the activity and can explore the existential/ethical/spiritual aspects of the activity at hand while your body goes on without you. The preternatural "gift" that comes during the psychedelic experience keeping you from losing a finger during your out of body flight. I am thinking here of Mescalito sitting on Don Juan's shoulder, guiding him. Upon your return to your body you will find the physical activity to be pure bliss. The vibrant colors of the trout's innards, the way they glisten in the sunlight, the tactile sensation as you slice and pull, and the satisfaction of knowing that you are providing healthy food for someone far away in the big city.

And you will dream about the GREEEEEN!!! of the lettuce for days afterwards.

Anyway; it isn't an obvious choice for most when they come looking for a spiritual enlightenment. But it will be rewarding for the few who take that trip.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 12:29 pm
by TDub
I think Don Quixote comes to.mind moreso tha Don Juan

Nonetheless #2 would be the choice

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Fri Nov 10, 2023 12:43 pm
by jhawks99
Ha! We're watching our 2 year old grand daughter for the rest of the weekend.

She's watching something called Donkey Hody.

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2023 4:52 am
by RainbowsandUnicorns
Dumbass me watched this twice and said there is NO WAY his/their/her mortgage is only $4300 a month.
Then I realized, he/they/she must of put a bunch of money down when they bought the place.
Then I read the comments, and realized she's a Bronfman. For those of you who don't know who the Bronfman's are - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronfman_family

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CzZGnA-r ... _copy_link

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Sat Nov 11, 2023 5:44 pm
by RainbowsandUnicorns

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2023 10:04 am
by RainbowsandUnicorns
Today's edition of another day in Gutter's neighborhood.
Not funny and probably sick edition.

I was thinking about asking how long it took them to walk here from Northern Gaza.

Image

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2023 3:49 pm
by japhy
One of the legends of the San Luis Valley, Mother God. She and her "Love Has Won" cult were in Crestone to the east of us. I never met any of them but the coroner told me about picking up the body after they found her.

Because it is story that needed to be told.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PweoTaa_OA&t

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2023 4:52 pm
by Overlander
That story was a trip.

BTW, Crestone IS pretty cool

Re: Totally random thread

Posted: Mon Nov 13, 2023 7:08 pm
by ousdahl
So know when the grocery store payment screens randomly ask if you wanna donate to like end hunger?

First of all it’s like motherfucker I AM donating to end hunger, did you see how much I just spent on pizza rolls?!

Second, they’re totally using that customer donation for like some tax write-off of their own, aren’t they?