Kansas Crimson

Dudes, when or if you get married to a woman, will you ask your love if she wants to keep her last name or take yours?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.

DrPepper wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:34 pm Dudes, when or if you get married to a woman, will you ask your love if she wants to keep her last name or take yours?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.

It is traditional, but I wouldn’t object to her keeping her own. What I find cringy is when both partners create a hyphenated combination of the two surnames, or, worse yet, as one of my college roommates did, combine both surnames into an awkward new amalgamation.

I know two dudes who combined their last names (without a hyphen) into something new. It actually became a nice sounding name and better sounding than either of their fathers' last names.

To be fair I should ask if any would be open to taking their wife's father's last name?

I don't care what other people do with their names.

I agree with HouseDivided on this one - she can do whatever she wants with her last name.
And no, I wouldn't take a wife's father's last name - nor would I combine names.

DrPepper wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:52 pm To be fair I should ask if any would be open to taking their wife's father's last name?

Nope. Deal breaker.

My wife took my name. We didn't talk about it. Our kids also have my last name. We also didn't talk about that. If my wife would have wanted something different then we'd have compromised and did what she wanted.

My wife took my name. I asked if she wanted to keep hers she said no she wanted mine. Thats the tradition.

Im open to women (and men i suppose) doing whatever they would like with their names. No i would not change mine to anyone elses. Its my name it will always be my name. Thats my lineage and my history.

My wife kept her name. We had a son and she said, "he's got your last name, if we have a daughter, she'll have my last name."

Mrs 99 goes by Mrs 99.

Seriously, she took my last name and did not want to hyphenate.

Cream cheese is not my last name, only hers.

Related to gender and names, I wish we didn't have Mr and Mrs (or Miss or Mx etc.). I do not see any honoring significance with those terms. Honorable and Dr at least describe something someone earned.

Teachers don't usually have titles, and there's nothing lamer than a teacher who thinks he's cool by going by his first nsme. I like that students say mr./mrs. To refer to their teachers.

It's also useful if you know someone's last name but not their first, like when you meet someone's parent or child.

It's also a polite way to politely indicate someone's gender to another person...like if their first name doesn't make it clear.

I see it as a sign of respect to call a teacher Mr./Ms./Mrs. + last name. Maybe that's because I am a teacher, but I'm not a fan of Mr./Ms./Mrs. + first name.

DrPepper wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 10:11 pm Related to gender and names, I wish we didn't have Mr and Mrs (or Miss or Mx etc.). I do not see any honoring significance with those terms. Honorable and Dr at least describe something someone earned.

I understand your sentiment but.....
If Robin smith married Brook Jones who is the woman and who is the man? Or are they both women? Maybe both men? I can see how labeling them with a Mr./Mrs. could be beneficial in some situations.
Also, I would be "honored" to have a Husband/Wife and become Mr./Mrs ________________ .

In terms of your original post, I would never "make" a woman/man take my last name and I would 100% leave it up to them - and wouldn't be offended if the chose not to take my last name.
I feel in the situation where a woman marries a man who has an ex that took his last name - maybe it's best if the woman keeps her maiden last name?
What do you think?

DrPepper wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:34 pm Dudes, when or if you get married to a woman, will you ask your love if she wants to keep her last name or take yours?
Thanks in advance for your thoughts on this.

my wife loved her maiden name, but she chose to take mine. i never asked her to.

DrPepper wrote: ↑Tue Oct 16, 2018 8:52 pm I know two dudes who combined their last names (without a hyphen) into something new. It actually became a nice sounding name and better sounding than either of their fathers' last names.

To be fair I should ask if any would be open to taking their wife's father's last name?

four-letter first and last names is just odd to me

i would knot want my wife hanging on to her ex’s last name

I loved me some Malik Newman. Except for his last name. My ex's married last name.
Not a bad last name, just one that always reminded me that she had/has an ex husband.
If she and I had gotten married, I suppose I probably would have wanted her to resort back to her maiden name or take my last name. Problem is the daughter has her father's last name and that would really complicate things.
Hmmmmm.

I don’t have my kiddos last name. It has never been a problem. Zero. Flying internationally with just the two of us. Crossing the US-Canadian border. Medical doctor’s offices. Schools. Just never ever an issue. Also, we look nothing alike.
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