Grandma's 5 Questions for 7/5/20
Posted: Sun Jul 05, 2020 7:29 am
1. The city "sponsored" Fireworks were cancelled in Chicago. Meanwhile, I was able to look out my windows last night between 8:30pm and 11:30pm and see more fireworks in this city than I have ever seen on any other 4th of July. I'm predicting that when I look after posting my 5 questions, I can and will read about shit that was blown up, things that caught on fire, and people (including children) who were injured.
Did you either light off any fireworks or attend a "private" (at someone's home - and/or by invitation) fireworks "show" last night?
2. Yesterday while at Navy Pier I observed a few people use hand sanitizer at a station that was set up near the main entrance/exit. I myself chose to use some. It had an extremely strange consistency and I began to think what could have been added to the hand sanitizer to give it the weird consistency.
While highly doubtful, and as sick as this would be, I am thinking someone could have "jizzed" in the hand sanitizer. If that in fact happened, which of the following would be a/the proper punishment if that person were to get caught?
a. $500 fine
b. $10,000 fine and 1 year of 2 day/s a week community service.
c. 3 days in prison.
d. 1 year in prison.
e. A high five from the Mayor.
f. Have their testicles surgically removed.
g. Death by firing squad.
3. Based on the names alone, who do you feel is probably the best looking woman?
a. Bunny Johnson
b. Victoria Frost
c. Kimmy Coffee
d. Diane Choksondik
e. Candy Gertz
f. Felicity Smokestack
g. Kaitlyn McWhendeesberger
4. Today would have been my father's 92nd birthday. He died when he was 60. Do you have (present tense) or did you have (past tense) any parents or grandparents who are/were 92 or older?
5. You are swimming/playing around in a public pool and a young kid sharts in the pool. You see just a slight brownish mist but it's unmistakable. The mist dissipates quickly. Do you say fuck it and stay in the pool or do you get out of the pool never to go back in the pool that same day?
Did you either light off any fireworks or attend a "private" (at someone's home - and/or by invitation) fireworks "show" last night?
2. Yesterday while at Navy Pier I observed a few people use hand sanitizer at a station that was set up near the main entrance/exit. I myself chose to use some. It had an extremely strange consistency and I began to think what could have been added to the hand sanitizer to give it the weird consistency.
While highly doubtful, and as sick as this would be, I am thinking someone could have "jizzed" in the hand sanitizer. If that in fact happened, which of the following would be a/the proper punishment if that person were to get caught?
a. $500 fine
b. $10,000 fine and 1 year of 2 day/s a week community service.
c. 3 days in prison.
d. 1 year in prison.
e. A high five from the Mayor.
f. Have their testicles surgically removed.
g. Death by firing squad.
3. Based on the names alone, who do you feel is probably the best looking woman?
a. Bunny Johnson
b. Victoria Frost
c. Kimmy Coffee
d. Diane Choksondik
e. Candy Gertz
f. Felicity Smokestack
g. Kaitlyn McWhendeesberger
4. Today would have been my father's 92nd birthday. He died when he was 60. Do you have (present tense) or did you have (past tense) any parents or grandparents who are/were 92 or older?
5. You are swimming/playing around in a public pool and a young kid sharts in the pool. You see just a slight brownish mist but it's unmistakable. The mist dissipates quickly. Do you say fuck it and stay in the pool or do you get out of the pool never to go back in the pool that same day?