Kansas Crimson

1. Tomorrow is free Slurpee day at 7/11s.
You get to choose one of the following options to last for the next 10 years. Which do you choose?
a) July 15th - Free Whopper, Fries, and Soft Drink, Day at Burger King
b) January 25th - Free Oil Change Day at Jiffy Lube
c) March 16th - Free Hat Day at Lids (Limit 1 free hat per customer - no returns/refunds - no purchase necessary)
d) September 2nd - Free Upper Deck Corner ticket Day for the MLB team of your choice.
e) June 11th - Free 1 gram of marijuana Day at Walgreens/CVS/Walmart/Rite Aid Day ($10 purchase required).
f) April 15th - Free Taxi/Cab ride within 20 miles Day.
g) October 30th - Free Charmin toilet paper 12 roll pack Day at all stores that sell Charmin.
h) December 6th - Free hotel room Day for 8 hours at any Holiday Inn Hotel.

2. Which of the following people do you think/feel/know has the highest IQ?
a) Donald Trump
b) Joe Biden
c) Barack Obama
d) Bill Clinton
e) Russell Brand
f) Bill Self
g) Lobster/Walrus
h) Steven Spielberg
i) Peter Griffin (Family Guy)

3. Not a typical #3 today.
You have been tested and you tested positive for COVID-19. You have a mild case and feel just a little bit "off". Do you "self-quarantine" for at least 14 days?

4. When was the last time you farted?

5. You are given a high quality race horse. You get to name the horse. What do you name it?

1. I guess b, the oil change?
2. In his prime, Clinton
3. Yes
4. This morning, within the last half hour
5. blackmild

1. A
2. E - but I think/feel/know he's often bat shit crazy.
3. Probably not - being that I live alone in an apartment. Need to get outside to take a walk and get fresh air. Getting food would be a concern.
4. 30 seconds ago.
5. Hoof Hearted is/was taken. Being that only 18 "characters" are allowed, it makes it tougher.
Male horse - Mookie B Fast
Female horse - Queef Latifah

1. Either f g or h cuz they’re at least in my area and everything else would require me to burn more gas than the freebie is worth
2. My dad has some story about how his friend met Clinton at some fundraiser before he was even president. Years later, after he was president, the guy runs into Clinton again. Without missing a beat, Clinton recognizes the guy, shakes his hand, and says, “Steve! Good to see you again! How are you? How’s your wife Sarah?” The dude remembered some random guy he met at some random fundraiser like 20 years and 2 presidential terms later. But to answer the question, Peter Griffin.
3. No way bro, I got mah rights.
4. Like 2 minutes ago
5. Gucci Mane. (With extra care given to shampoo and condition the hair on the back of his neck)

1. E
2. D
3. Definitely
4. Just now
5. Q

1. H..?
2. H. For all his stuff that he had going on, he was damn smart.
3. Yeah probably.
4. About 30 minutes ago on the shitter.
5. Turd Ferguson

1. A i guess?
2. Clinton maybe?
3. Definetely.
4. 3 seconds ago
5. Black Powder

1. C
2. J
3. Yes
4. Right before I loaded this page.
5. Big Dick Nick

1. d
2. c
3. Yes
4. About 10 minutes ago
5. Raymond Luxuryyacht, pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove