OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT A TINDER THREAD

[ousdahl]

Believe it or not, up until now I’ve been meeting party girls the old-fashioned way: partying.

well, that, and flying with a good wingman.

But I’m finally getting hip to the digital age….

game on!




(This bored needs this thread even more than my own love life)

[Overlander]

Hopefully, swiping will reduce your time on “other” online activities

[ousdahl]

Actually, funny you say that.

Literally the first chick I matched with had a bio that read, “left of left and you should be too!”

So of course I was like whoa hey what up commie babe.

She freaked out, then scolded me for being a white man.

Like Saturn…

[ousdahl]

For real tho, perhaps even more than the chance to meet partners, the social dynamic of the dating apps is just fucking wild.

[pdub]

You’re just gonna end up getting matched with Beav.

[ousdahl]

That’s the point bro, I got the fever for some beaver!

I hope my roomie likes her too.

[DCHawk1]

Anticipating the "OFFICIAL OUSDAHL FINALLY GOT HERPES" thread.

[ousdahl]

at this point I’m searching less for casual hookups and more for an actual soul mate.

After engaging me with a good dialogue about zen philosophy, this dude-haired little hipster babe just asked me to burn her a mix cd. That shit is tugging hard at the ol’ heart strings.

[ousdahl]

Wait, dude-haired?

Oh shit, this entire time I been on grindr.

[pdub]

I thought Tinder was more on the spectrum of casual hookups.
I dunno, I've been out of that game for almost 10 years now.

[ousdahl]

Yea, the royal Tinder.

I’m playing it he field across apps.

Actually, Bumble’s been the most productive. That’s the one where the chick gets to pick you first.

[ousdahl]

But there’s a lot of just completely dumb interactions. I think a lot of chicks just do it for the attention. And/or genuinely don’t realize the whole point of the apps is to meet someone. And/or don’t realize they actually have that weird thing girls have for the fuckboys and emotionally unavailables and other toxic types…cuz they think they can change them.

“Omg I’m so tired of being single! I just wanna find a nice guy to date on the reg!”

Well let’s work on that, wanna hang?

*ghosted*

[Back2Lawrence]

Having gotten divorced a couple years ago and trying to meet people...it doesn't get easier with time.

You are at least young(ish). So the pool of candidates isn't too shallow (not their personalities).

I have met 3 people in Lawrence. One was great for a short time and she ghosted bc she said she would if we 'smashed'. In hindsight, I think her using the term 'smashed' was a red flag for me, so no hurt feelings there. The second was not what she portrayed through her digital medium (she was fat), and the third worked out for six weeks and she legit realized she was too busy to mess with anyone (a line, sure, but also actually true).

All that said, they are all basically hook up sites. At least at my age. We don't have the most time (in the moment, and like, maybe left on the clock).

Good luck Ousdahl. Remember, they in the same muck that you are in. That's always an appealing thought.

[ousdahl]

Thanks bro. Likewise!

Yeah they are in the same muck, but again, it’s like they don’t even realize that.

And the apps are just so inherently superficial. Let’s pick a life partner based on like 4 pics plus some fun facts!

One chick asked what my red flags are. I said “flakiness.” To that, she ghosted.

my friend who’s on the apps and does really well (gets laid a lot) says that showed too much vulnerability or something. You can’t let them know you’ve ever got the flake treatment.

He says you have to act like you get laid a lot, and act like you’re not really insterested in them and kinda think they’re ugly and/or fat but still might hit it anyway.

It’s amazing how well that works for him.

Then again, he’s built like a literal former D1 linebacker, tall and ripped plus wingspan, so that prob helps too.

But I think imma taylor my bio to say something like, “swipe if you’re the type who likes to keep each other up all night talking about (or playing) music, spirituality, systemic revolutions, all the deep things.”

So far those sorts of buzzwords have yielded more intriguing recruits.

…orrr I’ll just go full fuckboy and change my bio so it simply reads,

“Nine and a half inches.”

[ousdahl]

Tho so far I did meet one chick who has been awesome to just get to know. Smart, funny, knows what she’s doing but down to earth, relatable, have shared some laughs about how dumb the apps are.

We’ve chatted daily for several weeks but due to schedules and such still haven’t confirmed an in-person hangout. Looking forward to it tho.

And honestly, i thought she was a tad too square for a dood like me, and not sure if the spark is there, and have approached it more as just being grateful for a good authentic homegirl to have around…that is, until, the other night when she confided that she is a “ruthlessly” sexual person.

To that I replied 1. What an adverb! and 2. Ok so which kcrim poster’s mom are ya?

[ousdahl]

Oh!

And I did have my first official bumble date the other night.

The next day she texted, “sorry but I feel like I’m your brother.”

…wut?

I been friend zoned before, but jeez the sibling zone is a new one to me.

[RainbowsandUnicorns]

I'm the furthest thing from an expert but my guess is the majority of girls/women on dating sites are looking for ONE of 3 things.
1. Casual sex.
2. Free meal and nothing else.
3. A guy to support them - then probably after taking a bunch of his money - dump him.

If #1 - Then they suck. ANY decent looking woman can go to a bar and get laid. As the dude, why pay for it by going through the whole date bullshit?
If #2 - Then they suck. As the dude, realize the fat bitch is better off not stuffing her face - so by NOT buying her a meal you are NOT contributing to her demise.
If #3 - Then they suck. As the dude, sucks to be a sap who is/was being used.

Yeah, I know. That's why this is me on a Saturday night.

[Overlander]

Ous, does your profile have pics that amply display your unique "Doug Funny" build?

[Back2Lawrence]

I think most people reading this are married. Hopefully just as many are on marriage #1. Divorce sucks, and it’s expensive? You know why? It’s worth it.

That said, all of you married folk. If you get divorced/separated, and you learn that your spouse/ex is on dating sites, please understand they are almost definitely engaging in acts they wouldn’t with you. Like really filthy stuff. At least my experience says so.

Hang on to them ladies, fellas.

[Back2Lawrence]

Ous, does your profile have pics that amply display your unique "Doug Funny" build?

Small hands, small mind, huge cock might be effective, even if false in at least the third one.